Wrong, But Oh So Right
by LysanderTheFistOfDorn
Summary: DISCONTINUED. I'm sorry to say I've given up on this story, going back and reading it I feel embarassed by my own writing style from back then. Feel free to read what I did get done. Thanks
1. Never Alone

_Author's Note: This is my first attempt at fanfiction. I like the Dave/Mindy pairing despite the age difference. If you don't like it don't read it. I own nothing but I wish I did._

Dave was walking Mindy home from school when it happened. Mindy just looked up and saw Dave in a different light. No longer did she see him as just her best friend, she saw him as something more. She was expecting this since her 14th birthday was about two weeks away. She sighed audibly, and just continued to walk.

Dave looked down at her, even though she had gotten taller in the past two years, she was still short. Dave had realized that she had gotten more beautiful as well. There were some thoughts Dave didn't think were too brotherly swimming around his head right now. To take his mind off it he aked her why she sighed.

"I don't fuckin' know Dave. The past two years haven't been much of a challenge after we, or I should say you, fuckin' vaporized him with a bazooka."

"Isn't that a good thing, Mindy? We've hardly had to be Kick Ass, and Hit Girl lately." He added after a quick look around.

"Exactly, I'm fuckin' bored."

"Well, what do you want to do tonight? Its Friday, so do you want to patrol tonight, or do you want to come to my house and train?" Mindy thought it over. It had been about three weeks since their last patrol, and there had not been a serious crime since. Even though she seriously doubted Dave, or her needed it, she thought a little training might do some good.

"Let's go to your house, dude."

"Cool." Mindy took off towards Dave's house, where he still lived with his dad, and Dace followed behind, making a serious effort not to stare at Mindy's ass.

"Dude, I know what your doing." Dave almost jumped out of skin as his friend Marty appeared beside him. He had been trying so hard not to stare, that if he had been staring much harded he would have burst a blood vessle.

"Wh- what are you talking about?" Marty ignored him, and called up to Mindy.

"Hey, Mindy, Dave was pretty deep in thought about something to do with your ass." Mindy turned around and gave Dave a smirk. Dave almost passed out because it wasn't the usual one. It actually looked like she was very pleased about something.

Mindy was just as surprised as Dave. The last time somebody had been caught staring at her had been kicked in the balls so hard, he actually passed out. But Mindy didn't mind when Dave did it. She just grinned at him, and enjoyed the looks on the faces of Dave and Marty. Marty turned to go home as Mindy and Dave continued to his house. After Marty had left, Mindy took extra care to stay in front of him, and give him a little show.

Dave was in Heaven and Hell at the same time. Here he was watching the ass of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, more beautiful than his girlfriend Katie. But Mindy was only 13, well 14 in two weeks, and she was like his sister. But maybe Mindy wasn't creeped out by it. Dave just sighed, and continued to stare for the next two minutes it took to get home.

Dave had become much more proficent in the use of his batons. He had to, especially after D'Amico's death. With all the criminal underbelly trying to move up the social ladder Kick Ass and Hit Girl had to beat down and send to jail, and in some places the morgue, quite a few "bosses",

Mindy was still as deadly as ever with all the weapons she trained with. She managed to fool the metal detector at school, and she carried a Model 42 with her at all times. She looked over at Dave, who had his shirt off, while he executed many difficult manuevers on a practice dummy. She watched as sweat rolled down the body that had become muscled in the year-and-a-half since D'Amico's death. She shook her head, and said to herself, This is Dave we're thinking about. Her inner voice said, Exactly, and gave an evil chuckle.

As training music they had an old hardcore punk band named the Misfits playing in the backround. Besides Dave and Mindy's respective "theme songs" on their cell phones they both enjoyed the Misfits. They heard the door to the attic open, and Dave's dad walked up.

"Dave, I'm leaving for work, there is some money on the counter for pizza or something."

"Okay, Dad, have a good night."

"Have a good night, Mr. Lezewski."

"You guys stay out of trouble." Dave and Mindy gave him a "who, us" look, and all three burst out laughing.

As he walked out the door Dave's dad, Jack, grinned as he thought about his son. He was proud of Dave, hell he was proud of both of them. When Jack had first found out about Dave being Kick Ass he was shocked. His son was a superhero! Jack had found out when he walked into Dave's room, and found Dave clad in a bloody, green wetsuit, sound asleep next to a blonde girl of about 11, who was clad in purple jumpsuit, with a skirt and cape. Jack looked around the room and spotted what looked like a jetpack. "Dave?" Both Dave, and the girl quickly awoke, and when Dave saw his dad knew, he explained the whole story, from him getting stabbed and run over, to Mindy and himself taking down D'Amico. Jack smiled as he remembered the way Dave and Mindy now looked at each other. He wasn't going to say anything about the age difference. When he met Dave's mom, she was 16, and he was 21. He wistled a happy tune as he turned the corner and went to work.

"I'm going to go downstairs and take a shower." Dave just nodded. Now would be the perfect time to look on the Internet for a birthday gift for her. She had been talking about wanting new costume, as she was starting to outgrow her old one. Dave managed to find a larger size jumpsuit, and he quickly bought it, and got the fastest shipping. Just as a bonus he decided to buy her a set of kukri knives, like that chick on the Resident Evil movies. He had forgotten about Mindy taking a shower, so he walked into his room just as she removed her towel. Dave just stood there like an idiot for a minute stammering.

"S-,s-, sorry Mindy." He then practicly leapt out of the room, and allowed Mindy to dress in peace.

Mindy thought about what just happened. Truth be told she didn't mind so much because it was Dave. She continued to grin about as she dressed, and walked downstairs to find Dave on the couch. Dave looked like he was torn as to either run to the bathroom and rub one out, or find one of Mindy's hidden guns, and kill himself. Mindy just laughed, and watched as Dave damn near leapt onto the ceiling.

"Mindy, I'm sorry, I should have been-"

"It's cool, dude, it's just you. Now, rest assured if it was anybody else, right now they wouldn't have any genitals." Mindy almost laughed again at the look on his face. It was somewhere between elation, and confusion. Mindy snapped him out of it.

"Want to go to Atomic Comics? Its only about 5:00, and they don't close till 8:00."

"Sure, why not."

As Dave and Mindy walked to the store Mindy was wishing it was she who walked in on Dave. Her inner mind was imaging what Dave might look like without clothes when Dave asked her,

"Do you think Katie will be there?" She did a Scott Pilgrim take by answering with two different answers.

"I want to see Katie naked." Dave did a spit take with his soda.

"WHAT?" Mindy looked around.

"Uh, I said, uh, she might be there." Dave just looked confused.

"That's not what-" He was cut off buy a glare from Mindy, and knew if he wanted to live he should shut the fuck up.

The got to the comic store with no trouble, and to Mindy's delight, and to Dave's deep surprise his own, Katie wasn't there, only Todd, and Marty. Mindy walked up.

"Sup, bitches." Todd didn't look up from his writing, while Marty just grinned at the two of them. He looked at Dave.

"What did you do?"

"Fuck, dude, how do always know when I do something dumb."

"My Spidey sense was tingling, now tell." Dave blushed a deep red, and said something in a mutter. Marty grinned like an idiot.

"Sorry, I didn't get that." Mindy took pity on Dave after seeing how embarrassed he was.

"Lay off dude, he caught me naked after I got out of the shower." Marty tried to high five Dave, while Todd was still writing. Dave looked at him.

"Dude, what are you writing?" Tood looked up.

"Oh, hey Dave, Mindy." Then he went back to writing. Mindy looked at Marty.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"He is writing a love letter." Dave looked puzzled.

"To who, dude?"

"Hit Girl."

"What?"

"Oh, yeah, ever since he saw her when she saved Kick Ass on that live video thing, he has been in love with her."

"Is that true, dude?" Todd looked up.

"Well, yes and no."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means I used to be in love with her, but I realized I have no idea of finding out who she is, plus my cousin is hooking me up with his sister's friend. Besides, Hit Girl and Kick Ass are probably dating anyway." He added almost as an afterthought. Dave looked like he was about to pass out, and Mindy had a look on her face. Her and Dave date? She wasn't opposed to the idea. Dave thought about what would have happened if Katie had been there. She was the only one who knew about Dave and Mindy, besides Jack, and Mindy's adopted father Marcus.

Just at that moment Mindy's phone rang.

"Hi, Marcus. I'm at Atomic Comics with Dave, Todd, and Marty. Okay, I'll ask." She looked at Dave. "A cop was injured today, and Marcus has to take night shift too. He want's to know if its cool if I spend the night." Dave nodded.

"Yeah, no problem." Mindy turned back to the phone.

"Yeah, its cool. Okay, love you too, bye." Dave and Mindy stood up out of the booth, and said their goodbyes, and left. Marty turned to Todd.

"Dude did you see their faces when you said Kick Ass and Hit Girl were probably dating?"

"Yeah, that was a little weird."

Dave had pulled out the fold-out bed from the couch as he had offered Mindy his room for the night. He put a DVD in the player, and sat back to watch. Mindy came down stairs in nothing but a long t-shirt.

"Whatcha watchin'?" Dave looked at her and stared. Mostly at her legs.

"Dude, calm the fuck down, it's me."

"Sorry, I'm watching that vampire movie, Let Me In."

"You mean the one with Chloe Moretz in it? She's kinda hot, if I wasn't a chick."

"You know Mindy, you kind of look like her."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious, you're just as, if not more so, the prettiest girl ever." Dave then clapped his mouth shut as he realized what he said. Mindy just looked at him in surprise.

"You think I'm pretty?" Dave slowy nodded. "Aww, your just a big wuss, ain't ya." Mindy said as a joke, but in reality, she was touched, and happy Dave thought she was pretty. She just snuggled in next to him, and settled in to watch the movie.

Katie walked up to Dave's house on Saturday morning to surprise him before she went to work. Se turned the key Dave had given her in the lock and open the door. Although it was 8:00 in the morning, she didn't see, or hear anything but the TV in the living room. She walked in there, and was greeted with the sight of her life. Dave and Mindy were asleep in the spooning position, and Dave had his arms around her. Katie her Mindy mumble.

"If that's what I think it is I'm gonna rip it off, and shove it up your ass." Dave just chuckled.

"If you can't do the time, don't to the crime."

"That was lame, dude." Katie chose that moment to speak up.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Oh, shit."

"Dave, what are you doing with that little monster?" Mindy was about to come off with a angry retort, when to her surprise Dave beat her to it.

"I love this little monster. She accepts me for who I am. She didn't start hanging out with me cause she thought I was gay. She doesn't bitch at me, or get jealous when another girl glances at me. She doesn't try to change me. Katie, I care about you, but not in that way, not anymore." Dave put his arm around Mindy. "Sure, she may kill people, and blow shit up, but if it makes the world better for innocent people I'm all for it. She's as keeper. She's my Hit Girl." Mindy looked up at Dave with wonder, and for the first time since Damon died, she had tears in her eyes. Katie was about to leave, when Mindy finally spoke up.

"You do know if you ever tell anyone about our true identities I will hunt you down, and kill you." Dave looked in wonder at the menace in her voice, and didn't doubt it for a second. Katie sighed, defeated, and walked out of Dave's house. Mindy looked up at Dave.

"Did you really mean what you said about me?" Dave looked down and grinned.

"Of course, I've felt this way for a while. Some of the feelings I've had for you lately haven't been brotherly. I mean it when I say, I love you Mindy Macready." She looked up at him.

"I love you, Dave Lezewski." They stared at each other for a minute before Mindy said, "You're supposed to kiss me now, retard." Dave blushed, and lowered himself to eye-level with Mindy. Slowly, they brought their lips together in a hesitant kiss, but after their lips met, they kiss with a primal ferocity neither had experianced before. They broke their kiss when a "Huh-hm" sounded in the room.

Dave and Mindy looked up to see Jack, and Marcus standing at the living room entrance. Jack had a huge grin on his face, and it looked like Marcus was trying not to. Mindy looked at Dave, and Dave nodded.

"Marcus, Mr. L, Dave and I have important news. I'm pregnant!" Dave and Marcus passed out at the same time, while Jack burst out laughing. He stopped for a minute.

"That was a joke, right?" Mindy nodded, and Jack resumed his laughter, all the while trying to wake up Marcus. Mindy knelt down by Dave, and gave him a kiss to wake him up.

"Did you rape me?" Mindy looked at Dave like he was crazy.

"What?"

"You said you were pregnant, and I thought the only way would have you raping me in my sleep."

"Dave, if I had, would you have called it rape?" Dave looked thoughtful for a second. "No." he admitted. They finally got Marcus awake again, and explained it was a joke.

"You mean you're not going out?" Dave looked at him.

"Marcus, sir, I love Mindy, and I would never hurt her." He then looked at his dad. "Dad I-"

"I know Dave, there was six years between your mother and I."

"Thanks, dad."

"Of course son, I love you, and I love Mindy like my own daughter."

Mindy looked at Marcus.

"Although this is technically illeagal because you're a minor, and Dave isn't since we all consent, it will be alright." Mindy hugged Marcus, and Dave shook his hand.

"Thank you, sir."

"If you break her heart, I'll break your balls."

"Sir, if I break her heart, SHE'LL break my balls." Marcus chuckled.

"True." Jack stood up.

"Marcus, why don't I show you this nice diner around the corner?" Marcus got the hint, and stood up as well.

"Bye, you guys, be careful." Dave looked at Mindy, puzzled, as Jack, and Marcus left.

"Be careful with what?"

"You know, bow chicka bow wow." Dave relaxed, then looked scared for a minute.

"Wait, what?" Mindy looked at him with that predator's glint in her eye.

"Dave." Dave gulped.

"Yeah?"

"You know how earlier you mentioned rape?" He nodded slowly.

"Now might be a good time to run." Dave yelped as Mindy leapt after him and he ran up to his room, and locked the door.

"Dave, if you don't let me in I'm gonna break the door."

"Mindy, don't you think it's a little wrong for me to sleep with a 13 year old girl?"

"You do have a point, spaz. You got until two weeks from tomorrow." Dave looked puzzled until his saw his calender, and two weeks from tomorrow was lable "Mindy's Birthday". Dave opened the door and said "Okay."

"Good, now get ready we're goin' somewhere."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to Atomic Comics, and you're going to buy your new girlfriend coffee, and a few new comics." Dave grinned

"I can do that."

"Good, come on hurry up." Dave walked back into his room and realized what a great day this was.

Dave and Mindy walked into Atomic Comics, and saw Todd and Marty sitting there. Marty looked up.

"Why did you break up with Katie, she was in here and wouldn't tell us." Mindy answered for him.

"He founded a hotter, smarter, tougher girlfriend." Marty looked confused.

"Who would that be?" Mindy smirked in her evil way.

"Me, retard." Both Marty, and Todd looked at them like they sprouted an extra head head. "WHAT?" Todd looked at Dave.

"Have you, you know, bow chicka bow wow, yet.?" Dave shook his head no, and Mindy looked at him.

"He's got 15 more days, and then he's all mine."

_Author's Note: There you have, the first chapter in a Dave/Mindy love story. As I said above this is my first attempt at fanfiction, so I would appreciate any help or ideas anybody wants to toss out there. Helpful reviews would be nice, but if you're just going to call me a sick freak, or a pedophile, or some shit don't bother. I knew dudes at school who were 19 years old and dated 14 year olds. So if you're going to say this is wrong, save you brain cells. As I said above, I don't own anything._


	2. Dig Up Her Bones

_Author's Note: This is the second chapter of my Dave/Mindy story. I will try to add some Kick Ass and Hit Girl action here. The theme for this chapter is "Dig Up Her Bones" by the Misfits. _

Dave looked back on the past day as the best of his life. He was dating the most beautiful girl on the planet. He thought back until he remembered yesterday Mindy said on her 14th birthday she was going to have her way with him. "Maybe it won't be bad." he muttered to himself. He had seen too much porn with dominatrix chicks in it.

Meanwhile Mindy was just as worried as Dave. She was 13 for God's sakes. She didn't know what the fuck she was doing. Mindy decided it might be time to do what she had put off doing for a few hours. She picked up the phone, and called Marty's girlfriend Erika Cho.

"Erika?"

"Yeah?"

"It's me, Mindy, I need you to come over to my house, please. I kinda need your help with something."

"Yeah sure, I'll be there in about 15 minutes."

"Okay, bye." Mindy hung up the phone, feeling releaved that even though Dave broke up with Katie, Erika was still friends with them.

Mindy's cellphone rung, playing "Dig Up Her Bones". She smiled, for some reason Dave was obsessed with the Misfits lately. He said it was because Mindy and himself were both misfits.

"Hey, what up cunt?" Dave smiled on the end. When Mindy threw out abuse to him it ment she was in a good mood. It was their thing.

"What's up with you beautiful?" "Not much, why do ask?" "I wanted to meet up at Atomic Comics, and show you my new hairstyle."

"I would love to baby, but I'm meeting with Erika to discuss you as my birthday present." The confident tone went out of Dave's voice.

"What?"

"Don't worry. it won't be bad. It should only take an hour, and I'll meet you after, okay?"

"Okay, love you, no chains or whips please." Mindy frowned, puzzled, what kind of sick fucks would use chains, and whips in bed?

Dave walked into Atomic Comics and saw Todd, and Marty. They looked up at Dave.

"Dude when did you become a badass?"

"Yeah, dude, you look cool."

"Do you think Mindy will like it?" asked Dave nervoulsly. He looked like a badass because he had on black cargo pants, black goth boots, a sleeveless Misfits shirt, Misfits armbands, and he didn't have on glasses, he had contacts. His scraggly brown hair had been dyed black, and had been slicked back on the sides, spiked up on top, except for a long lock of hair that hung down in front of his face to form a devilock.

"Dave, if I didn't know you were a pussy, I'd be scared of you."

"Thanks, Marty."

"By the way, Erika said she had to talk to Mindy about something, do you know." Dave had to talk very carefully so his voice wouldn't break.

"Uh, she, um, she said she had to talk to Erika, about, uh, about me being her birthday present." He finished rather quickly. Both Todd and Marty exchanged glances.

"Dude, why do you look worried, Mindy's hot." Dave looked up sharply at that.

"What?"

"Dude, Mindy's fine as fuck." Dave didn't notice Mindy and Erika walk in after that.

"Todd, you're one of my best friends, but if you talk about her like that again I will rip your heart out, and give it to Mindy on a silver platter."

Behind him Mindy beamed with pride, while Todd, Marty, and Erika all looked a little freaked out by the tone of his voice. Mindy walked up behind him.

"What up, tard?" Dave turned around quickly turning from angry to happy.

"Hey, babe." He then pulled her into a passionate kiss. Mindy broke the kiss.

"You look good, you don't look like a wuss now."

"Coming from you Mindy, that means a lot." They kissed again, but Dave broke it quickly when he heard a boy mutter.

"Fuckin' pervert." Dave quickly stood.

"What big man said that?" A big jock-lookin' dude stepped forward.

"I did, pervert."

Dave took a step towards him.

"If you ever say anything about that girl I will personally rip your lungs out of ass." Back at the table Todd, and Marty gasped.

"He really became a badass!" Mindy grinned in anticipation of what was about to happen. The jock took another step forward.

"I'd like to see you try faggot." Dave looked back at the table, gave Mindy a wink and a grin. He then proceded to ram his bootclad foot at the jocks solar plexis. The jock doubled over in pain, and Dave finished with an elbow to the back of the head.

He swaggered back to the table, Todd and Marty's mouths were agape in awe. Mindy looked at him.

"Not bad, for a cunt." Dave pulled her into a kiss, and Mindy returned it full force.

"You want to go back to my house, Mindy?"

"Sure." Dave and Mindy got up and left. Leaving a figure on the floor groaning in pain.

As they walked back to Dave's house Mindy thought about what Dave had said. Mindy was very happy with what Dave had done. After a year-and-a-half of training he was getting pretty good.

"Dave?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Next time let me beat the little tards."

"Okay but don't kill them, by the way, should we patrol tonight?"

"Fuck yeah."

Later, after dark, two figures crept out of Dave's house silently. One was about average height, clad in what looked like a green wetsuit, with some kevlar on under it. He had two batons on his back, and a knife straped to his leg. This was Kick Ass, the first inspiration for real life superheroes. Behind him was a smaller figure clad in an ill-fitting purple jumpsuit, with purple hair, a black mask, and a pink utility belt. She had a long staff on her back with a blade on each end, and several knives hidden about her person. This was Hit Girl, recently seen as Kick Ass's sidekick.

"Where should we go, Hit Girl?"

"How the fuck do I know where the crime is, let's just fucking go."

"Fine, don't tear my head off."

"Wouldn't dream of it, douche." Kick Ass and Hit Girl wandered around aimlessly for a while until they heard a gunshot and sounds of a struggle. Kick Ass looked at Hit Girl, who nodded, and they took off towards the sound. They reached where the sounds came from, at the mouth of a dead end alley, they saw two rough looking dudes kicking the shit out of a boy who was about 15, and the third, the leader, had a young girl pinned up against the wall about to do God knows what. Hit Girl nudged Kick Ass.

"They're all yours." Kick Ass nodded and stepped forward.

"Hey, cockfags, why don't you pick on somebody your own size?" All three looked at Kick Ass, and the two looked at the leader.

"Kill him." They rushed forward thinking they could overwhelm him with numbers. The one on the left swung a fist with brass knuckles on it. Kick Ass dodged, and brought one of his batons crunching down on the back of his head.

The other shoved pass Kick Ass trying to leave. He didn't run very far when Hit Girl hacked his right leg off at the knee. The leader was all that was left. He pulled out a large butterfly knife, and twirled it in a threatning way. Kick Ass put up his batons and calmly walked up to the man. He swung his weighted fist into the mans nose, which gave away with a sickening crack. Kick Ass took the knife and twirled it like Hit Girl taught him.

"You shouldn't play with knives." He twirled it back to the safe position, and hit the man on his already broken nose with it. The man screamed, and passed out from the pain. They made a quick stop at a payphone on the corner, and informed the police of the whereabouts of the injured men.

As they walked back to headquarters, aka Dave's attic, Hit Girl just started laughing. Kick Ass turned to her.

"What?"

"You shouldn't play with knives, dude that was fuckin' classic."

"I saw it on the good Punisher movie with Tom Jane."

"That is the good one ain't it?"

"Yeah, some comic movies rule, like the Dark Knight, and some suck, like Ang Lee's Hulk, or Iron Man 2."

"Yeah I know, Iron Man one was good, but 2 sucked."

"But you got to love the theme song." Both started back to headquarters again, when a car came speeding around the corner. A man stuck his head out the window and yelled.

"Fuck you,superheroes", as he let loose with a MP5K. Hit Girl hit the deck, but Kick Ass stood there as his torso was riddled with bullets. Hit Girl pulled a frag she kept for special occasions, and managed to chuck it through the window. She threw her body over Kick Ass as the car exploded. She heard a groan under her as Kick Ass came to.

"Ow, fuck." She searched over his chest and found miraculously only one bullet had hit him...in the arm. The front of his costume was riddled with bullet holes, but thanks to lessons with Mindy, the kevlar stopped it. Kick Ass sat up.

"Holy fuck, that hurt a lot, and I got shot in the arm, now I'll have cool scar for my girlfriend." Mindy smiled a little at his lame joke, but still feel the tears welling up. She buried her head into Kick Ass' chest, and began to cry in earnest. Kick Ass held as she cried, allowing her to vent.

"Goddamit, next time a fucking car speeds around the corner, and a fucker in it has a gun fuckin' drop. I don't what I'd do if I lost you Dave." She said using his real name.

"Don't worr-."

"I wasn't done fucker, I know we only started dating yesterday, but I love you more than life itself. Now let's go home." Kick Ass walked in stunned silence back to his house. He didn't know how much she cared, as much as he loved her, he thought it might just be a crush, he was afraid to love her with his whole until now. He was re-affirmed in his love and faith in her. Her carefully walked up beside her, and put his uninjured arm around her.

"Would it help if I said I have an early birthday gift for you?" She looked up at with a slight pout. "I just happen to have tickets for a lovely young lady to got to a Misfits concert with me."

"Really, no bullshit?"

"No bullshit, it's tomorrow night."

"We should get home and clean up."

Dave climbed out of the shower,checked his bandaged arm, and started to towel himself down, when he realized the door was open. There was also a person standing in the doorway. Dave locked eyes with Mindy as she stood there in nothing but a wet towel, and gave him her trademark smirk. He blushed, and made to move his towel over his crotch. Mindy fixed him with a glare that said if he tried that shit she would tie him naked to the bed so she could look all she wanted. After what seemed like an hour, but was only 3 minutes.

"Payback's a bitch ain't it?" Dave felt his blush go away, and then he realized a girl had stared at his junk for 3 minutes.

This thought kept him happy for a few minutes until he realized Mindy would be getting a closer view later. He sighed, and went to get dressed for bed. He walked into his bedroom to find Mindy already under the quilt.

"Hurry up, fucker, I'm cold." Dave turned the light off, and climbed into bed. As his hand brushed her bare stomach he realized she was naked.

"Mindy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you naked?"

"Maybe."

"Oookay." Dave just rolled over and decided to go to sleep.

He woke up in the morning alone, with a note on his bedstand. It read "Had to help Marcus at home today, can't wait till tonight, love you, Mindy." Dave grinned, and tried to figure out what he was going to do today. As he laid there his thoughts drifted to the Mistmobile. Dave and Mindy had taken it after they killed Frank, and it still needed a paintjob. Dave suddenly got an idea of how to repaint it. He got on the computer to find a good auto-body shop. He knew he would to go as Kick Ass, otherwise it was pretty shady.

Dave, now Kick Ass, walked down to the local storage gararge where they kept the car. He opened up the door and got in. He noticed it smelled like blood, and weed. As he drove it down to Mike's Auto Paint and Repair he thought about the last few days. It might sound cheesey, but he was in love, wholeheartedly. He was surprised Mindy didn't kick his ass when he called her his Hit Girl, probably the only reason she didn't was because of the emotion of the situation. He pulled into the shop, and noticed the shop foreman eyeing the car.

Everybody in the shop jumped a little when Kick Ass stepped out. He walked to the shop foreman.

"Are you in charge here?"

"Yes, Mr Kick Ass."

"It's not Mr, and relax, I just need you to repaint my car." The foreman visibly relaxed at that.

"Okay, that we can do, whaddaya need?" Kick Ass handed him a piece of paper.

"Just this." The foreman's eyes bugged out at this.

"This is gonna cost a lot of cash."

"I've got it."

Later, about three hours before the concert Mindy came over. She was dressed in a short goth skirt, fishnet stockings, purple Chuck Taylor's, a Misfits t-shirt, and she had purple, and pink streaks in her hair. Dave came down from his room to find her in the kitchen.

"Wow!"

"You like it?"

"I love it." She smirked as she looked at his attire in detail. He had on leather pants that looked stitched together, and sleeveless shirt that had a skeleton's ribcage on the front and spine on the back, a leather jacket with feathering along the shoulders, his hair was in a devilock, and his face was painted to look like the Ghoul.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"What, I like music."

"Dude, tell the truth." Dave sighed, and with exagerated seriousness started to speak.

"I need to come out." Mindy gasped. "Out of the Misfits closet. I've been a fan of them for years, but I didn't know anybody else that liked them. But after I became Kick Ass and met you, I've actually grown some balls." Mindy chose this time to comment

"Like I saw last night." Dave blushed but went on.

"I guess I finally just let myself go, to do what I want."

"Good."

"Now come on we gotta go." Mindy and Dave hailed a taxi, the cabbie gave both of them a look. "Madison Square Garden."

"Yes, sir."

They arrived home later, exausted but happy.

"What did you think, babe?"

"They were good, not as good as when Graves was with them, but still awesome."

"Cool, you want to spend the night?"

"No, I got school, and you got work right?"

"Yeah." "Don't worry, I'll see you tomorrow, love you, cunt."

"I love you too." Dave walked into his house. How would his life top this?

_Author's Note: There you have, chapter 2. Might have seemed a little rambling, sorry if it did. As I said I would appreciate any help or ideas. Ghouse89 gave me the idea to do it day to until the "moment", and I would like to thank him for that. Please do not expect updates like this everyday, I didn't have anything to do today, and I was in the zone. Reviews are nice, and as I said before, if you don't like it don't read it. I own nothing._


	3. Pain

_Author's Note: I want to thank all that have read this. I want to thank Ghouse89 and Makokam for their advice. Thanks dudes. My last 2 chapters have pretty quick, but I'm going to try to slow this one down. This may also be a little darker in tone. BTW I'm going to make Dave a little more of a badass, not enough to make him even with Mindy, but enough where he is respected. The song for this is "Pain" by Three Days Grace._

Dave awoke the morning after the concert with a headache, and realized he had to go to work. Dave had a job as a stock-boy at Atomic Comics. With all the money Mindy and himself had amassed he didn't really need it, but it helped with appearances. He got out of bed, and stumbled to the shower. He made sure to check his wound, as he didn't want an infection. He climbed under the hot water, and reflected the past few days of his life. He had admitted his love for Mindy, and she had reciprocated fully. It was 13 more days until her birthday, so Dave had to try to think up some sort of romantic shit to do.

Mindy was waking up at the same time in the apartment Marcus, and herself shared after her father's death. Thinking of her father still made her sad, even though he had died two years ago. The happiest thing in her life was her relationship with Dave. After she had spent the night he had sent Katie packing after confessing of his love for Mindy. Truth be told Mindy had liked Dave for a while, but she hadn't ilike/i liked him until a few days ago. When he told her he loved her, she knew she loved him as well.

Mindy got out bed, and walked into her bathroom. Her hair still had pink, and purple dye in it from when she fixed it for the concert. She sighed as she knew some of the girls she knew where bound to ask questions. Maybe she should've told them to fuck off, but she tried to make friends her own age, for Marcus' sake anyway. She dressed in a similar skirt like the one worn last night, her purple Chuck Taylor's, and a HIM t-shirt. She liked HIM because they were the only love metal band she had heard of, plus the heartagram was badass.

She walked into the kitchen to find Marcus sitting there, about to go into work himself.

"How was the concert?"

"What?"

"I said how was the concert."

"I can't hear you, the speakers were too loud." Marcus just sighed as Mindy grabbed a bottle of water, and walked to the door. Before she walked out she turned to Marcus.

"I was just messing with ya, it was awesome, love you, bye." Mindy walked down the steps, and to her surprise saw Dave sitting there in a car.

"Dave, dude what are doing?"

"I just thought I'd drive you to school."

"Where'd you get the car?" Mindy looked it over, as she realized it was a Chevy Impala like the one from her and Dave's favorite TV show Supernatural.

"My dad actually found it for me, it was actually pretty cheap."

"It's pretty badass, almost too badass for a douche like you." Dave grinned.

"Hop in."

Dave and Mindy arrived at school without incident. Mindy exited the car, and went to the driver's to say goodbye to Dave. A girl Mindy knew walked up to her.

"Hi, Mindy."

"Oh, hey Meg."

"Who's that, your brother?"

"Who, him?" Meg nodded as Dave grinned. Since Atomic Comics didn't have a very strinct dress code, or anything like that, Dave had his hair still in a devilock, and he had on an Iron Maiden shirt. Should I tell the truth, she thought to herself. Fuck it.

"No, thats Dave, my boyfriend." Meg gasped as Mindy leaned into the window, and gave Dave a kiss.

"Wow, is he really your boyfriend?"

"Hell yeah."

"He's cute, but a little scary." Mindy scoffed, Dave wasn't scary, was he?

"How is Dave scary?"

"His hair, and that zombie thing on his shirt, plus he didn't talk." Mindy stifled a chuckle as her friend described the immortal Eddie the Head as a zombie thing.

"Let's just get to class."

Dave pulled his car in front of the store, and made sure it was locked. He didn't want it stolen by some asshole. He walked in the store, and was greeted by the manager, Mr Riggs.

"Morning, Mr Riggs."

"I've told you to call me Doyle a million times, Dave."

"Okay, Doyle."

"We got a shipment from DC in last night, and we are expecting the one from Marvel tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll get to work." Doyle looked at Dave while he worked. Dave was working a little faster than he normally would. Instead of looking at each new comic, he would just put it in it's proper place and move on. Doyle reckoned it might be a girl he was hurrying for. Probably that blonde he was with the other day, when Dave kicked the shit out of that asshole that was screwing with the customers.

Dave worked as fast as he could without messing up when he heard a soft cough behind him. Hoping, irrationally, it might be Mindy, he was disappointed to find Katie.

"Hello Dave." Dave glared at her coldly, and gave a curt nod.

"Dave, why did you really leave me for that little weirdo, are you into younger girls?"

"No Katie, I left you for Mindy, because I love her, I don't judge people on the way they were raised. I told you the truth. Mindy knows simply wishing for the best in everybody won't work. You almost got me killed, went you sent me that email to take care of Rasul. I know you thought I might've been a little more experianced, but you must've known he wouldn't take it well. Mindy saved my life that night. So I belive I have answered your question. By the way, I will never forgive you for what you called Mindy." Katie nodded sadly, and walked off. Dave knew it would be a week or two before she found the next jock-with-a-cock, and forgot about Kick Ass and Hit Girl.

Doyle noticed the exchange, and walked over to talk to Dave.

"Dude, what was that about?" Being called "dude" by a 30-something was a little weird, but Dave replied.

"She was my girlfriend until about three days ago."

"Trying to win you back?"

"Something like that."

"Take this advice Dave, find a good one, and hold on to her forever. If I had done that maybe I wouldn't be a single, 36 year old guy, living out of his mother's basement." Dave looked startled, he would have swore Doyle had a wife.

"Really?" Doyle saw the perplexed expression and Dave's face, and started to laugh.

"No, I'm married."

"Okay, I had better get to work, it's supposed to rain today, and if my girlfriend has to walk home in it she'll kill me." Doyle chuckled as he walked away at what he was sure was a joke. Dave only wished it was.

Mindy sat in History class, bored out of her skull. She looked out the window at the rain slashing down. If Dave isn't here to pick me up I'll kill him, she thought. She knew it would not be enjoyable to walk kome in that. After Meg had told everyone about Dave, Mindy had been pestered with questions about him. Is he emo? Fuck no. Has he slept with you yet? Yes and no. Have you guys had sex? No. Mindy knew she was lucky she wasn't being asked questions by the principal, or teachers, or something. She kept daydreaming off to her birthday, when she and Dave would consumate their relationship. Still 13 days was a while. History finally ended, and Mindy only had one more class until school was out.

Her last class of the day was Computers. Like they didn't know how to use the already. Mostly she just sat in there and played games, or read fanfiction. The class always went by quick, and soon it was time to leave. The halls were now jammed as all the students were trying to leave at the same time. Finally they cleared, and as Mindy walked out the door into the rain the elements made it impossible for her to see a dark shape come up behind her, and inject her with a vial of somekind. Mindy felt the briefest moment of pain as darkness overtook her.

Luckily Dave was looking right at her, and saw the shape. He leapt out of the car and ran toward her. He gabbed a shrukien from his pocket, and flung it at the fleeing figure. He heard a curse, but could not spare a moment to finish the bastard, because Mindy was turning alarmingly pale, and cold. Dave carefully, but quickly picked her up, and put her in the car. The nearest hospital was about ten miles from here. Dave threw the car in gear, and slammed the gas to the floor.

"Beep" What was that? "Beep" Again? "Beep" Mindy slowly, and painfully open her eyes to the sound of the beeps, and a quiet sobbing. She painfully turned her head to the sound. She saw a rather dishelved looking Dave sitting in the hospital chair, crying.

"Dave?" she croaked out painfully, her voice not much more than a wisper. Dave looked up, and cahnges on his face went from sad, happy, angry, and happy again. Angry? Had she read that look right?

"Mindy, you're awake."

"Water." Dave stumbled out of the room for a minute to get the doctor, and water. This left Mindy alone with her thoughts. She must have been poisoned. There was only one person who would do that. Red Mist, aka (to Mindy and Dave at least) Chris D'Amico. The son of mob boss Frank D'Amico, whom Dave had disposed of with a bazooka.

But how would Red Mist know who she was, and did he know who Dave was? These questions would have to wait as Dave returned with the doctor, and Jack and Marcus.

"Hello young lady, how are you feeling?" .

"I've felt better."

"Well don't worry, the kind of poison that was used is deadly, but the recovery is shockingly rapid."

"Thanks, doc." Mindy heard the doctor and Marcus talking, and she let sweet sleep overtake her.

Dave looked down at Mindy's peaceful, sleeping form, and vowed to whoever would listen that he would sent that assassin screaming to hell, and that he wouldn't go alone. Dave knew only one thing could've happened. Chris D'Amico had somehow found out who they were. Dave knew what he had to do. As much as he wanted to stay with Mindy, his desire to avenge his angel was stronger. He knew Kick Ass couldn't be involved in this. He told Marcus, and his dad that he had to go home to change. In a way that was true. On the anniversary of Damon Macready's death a year ago, Mindy had given Dave one of his spare Big Daddy costumes, armor plates and all. She had wanted him to maybe continue his legacy after he had outgrown Kick Ass.

Dave walked up the steps to his house, opened the door, and trudged up to his room. There was a locked trunk under his bed. He opened it with the key he kept under the mattress, and pulled out the costume piece by piece. Dave picked up the mask, and as if speaking to Damon.

"I'll kill them all, I will sent that bastard to hell, with Red Mist right behind him."

Mindy awoke again a few hours later.

"Where's Dave?" Jack spoke up.

"I called him about thirty minutes ago and he said would be here in about an hour."

"Good."

**30 minutes earlier:**

Big Daddy 2 was currently hold the shirt collar of a once important enforcer.

"WHERE IS D'AMICO?" Dave screamed in his best Christian Bale/Dark Knight growl. The man he was holding wimpered, and sobbed.

"I don't know!"

"Then you are of no use to me." Big Daddy threw the man down, and pointed his handgun at him. The man cried.

"Wait, wait, I do know something."

"WHAT?" The man wimpered again as a reek filled the room, and stain appeared on the front of his pants.

"An old pal of mine, who used to work for the D'Amicos, said something about Chris coming back from California, re-hiring and old employee, to assassinate somebody."

"Who?" Big Daddy growled out.

"I don't know, but I know where he was supposed to stay."

"Where?"

"If I tell you will you let me go?"

"Yes."

"It's an old appartment building, on the corner of 5th and Cresent, apartment number 13."

"Thank you." Big Daddy pulled back the slide on the pistol. The man cowered.

"You said you'd let me go."

"I lied." Big Daddy pulled the trigger, and watched with some detachment as the brains went flying.

In an inside pocket, he felt his phone go off. He reached into his pocket.

"Hello?"

"Dave?"

"Hi, dad."

"When will you come back."

"I'll be there in about an hour."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye." Dave hung up the phone, and looked at what he had just done. The rational side of him rebelled at such carnage. But the other side told him to get revenge on those that had hurt Mindy. Dave raced home so he could change, and be with Mindy at the hospital.

He changed clothes, and as he rooted around in the fridge for a coke, he noticed a fifth of Jack Daniels. What the hell, he thought, I'm trying to forget anyway. He opened the bottle and took a long swig, it was terrible, so he washed it down with more.

Mindy awoke to a loud bump, and a furious "shhhh" noise. She opened her eyes, and saw Dave standing there looking at her.

"Hey, Mindy, you're awake." Mindy noticed a slight slur, and he was wobbling a little. Oh, shit.

"Dave, are you drunk?"

"No, hey look what I got." He turned his back to her, and lifted his shirt. A not quite finished tattoo was on his back.

"Dave, back up a little, I can't see it." Dave backed up until he was right beside her, with his back to her. As she studied the tattoo her drug addled mind realized what it was. It was Hit Girl, or rather, it was her. Dave had got shit-bag wasted, and gotten a tattoo of her.

Dave suddenly fell.

"Oh shit." He fell on his face and made a loud groan.

"I'll kill you, floor, after a nap." Mindy chuckled, and realized that although she was in a hospital, Dave was there with her. Even if he was shitfaced.

_Author's Note: That was the third chapter. I hope you enjoyed Dark Dave, Don't worry though, Mindy will have to "save his sorry ass" so to speak. Again, reviews are helpful, feel free to throw out ideas. As usual, I own nothing. _


	4. Pyscho

Author's Note: Here is chapter 4. This chapter's tone will go hand in hand with three. In this chapter Dave will borrow a little of Mindy's insanity. Thanks to Ghouse89, TorontoBatFan, and Makokam, your advice has been helpful. Theme song for this chapter is "Psycho" by Puddle of Mudd.  
>_<p>Dave awoke on the linoleum floor of the hospital. He felt like somebody had kicked the shit out of him. He slowly, and painfully stood up as the world spun.<p>

"Look who's awake." Dave followed the voice to see Mindy smirking at him from the bed.

"Morning, would happen to know why I feel like crap?" Dave vaugely recalled draining a 5th of liquor.

"Last night you came in plastered, and fell face first on the floor after showing me something on your back." Mindy's smirk grew wider as she mentioned his back.

"What's on my back?" Dave asked worriedly. He had no idea what happened after he got shitfaced.

"Why don't you go look in the bathroom?" Mindy had to suppress a chuckle at the thought of how he would react to the tattoo.

Dave walked into the bathroom, and turned so his back was to the mirror. He raised his shirt, and slowly revealed the tattoo. It was Hit Girl, at least some version of her. The incarnation on Dave's back was only wear the skirt, and the top was cut of just below her breasts.

"Do you think I should dress like that?" Mindy yelled to Dave. She laughed as she heard him stutter a response.

"Wh-, what? No, of course not." Mindy didn't have to be a mind reader to know he was picturing such a situation right now.

Dave walked back out to the room, and slumped into the chair by the bed.

"Where did you go last night? I figured you be here all night." Mindy was curious, she had woken up twice before he had stumbled in drunk.

"Uh, I don't really remember." Dave knew that wasn't true. He remember killing that ex-mobster. He felt a dark part of him say the killing wasn't over with either.

Dave was spared anymore questions for the moment as the doctor walked in.

"Miss Macready, your lab results came back, the toxin was purged. You are free to go. But I must warn you, no strenuous activity until at least tomorrow."

"Thank you, doctor." The doctor smiled and left the room. Mindy grinned at Dave, and slowly stepped out of bed.

"Now, where are my clothes." Mindy scanned the room, as if expecting them to be lying in a pile somewhere.

"I vaugely recall dad saying Marcus took them home. I think he was supposed to bring more today, but he probably didn't expect you to be released so early. Do you want to wait, or I can give you my shirt." Dave knew Mindy didn't like hospitals, but he didn't want to see her hurt worse either.

"Damnit, gimme the shirt." Dave took off his "Hulk" shirt, and turned his back so she could change. He gave her a minute, turned to see her nod, and then led her down the hallway. Two half-naked teens walking through a hospital was a troublesome as you might think, but the ride home was. Dave flew through three redlights, and almost hit a dog because he kept staring at Mindy's legs.

They arrived at the apartment complex where Marcus and Mindy lived with no serious trouble, and walked into the lobby. They walked to the only elevator, and saw the "Out of Order" sign taped to it.

"Do you want me to carry you?" Dave knew the answer, but fel he had to ask anyway. It was only polite.

"No, fucktard, I can do it." Mindy only made it to the second floor before she fell.

"You're too stubborn for your own good." Dave knelt down beside her, and rose carrying her bridal style.

They made it to Mindy's apartment, and let themselves in. Dave set Mindy on the couch to catch his breath. Mindy stared at Dave as she guessed his reaction to her next statement.

"Dave, I'm going to need your help to shower." Mindy smiled as Dave sputtered in the water he was drinking, and gave Mindy a scared look.

"Come on, I can't wait all day." Mindy slowly stood up and stumbled to the shower. Not for the first time, she cursed herself for not seeing that asshole.

Dave followed Mindy closely to make sure she didn't fall as she walked to the shower. Mindy turned on the water, and turned to Dave as she took her loaned shirt off, and threw it in the hamper.

"You are a goddess." Dave stared at Mindy's perfect form, toned by years of training. Mindy smirked, and winked saucily at him, then stepped into the shower. Dave let out a little gasp as he watched the water run over Mindy.

"Dave, I need you to wash my back." She laughed inside at the bulge in Dave's jeans, and at his eagerness. Mindy turned around to let Dave wash. He lathered up a cloth, and started at the top of her back, and slowly worked his way down. Just as he reached what he thought was the most perfect butt in existence, there came a knock at the bathroom door.

"Hello?" Dave shrieked like a little girl, and leapt into the shower, when he heard Marcus' voice. Dave and Mindy became tangled in the shower-curtain, and fell to the floor, with Mindy on top.

Marcus heard the sceam, and the crash. What the hell, he thought. He open the door, and saw Mindy laying on Dave, both wrapped in the shower curtain.

"What happened?" Marcus figured he knew, but wanted to hear an answer anyway.

"I slipped, and Dave caught me." Dave was silently grateful that Mindy didn't tell Marcus he was the one that screamed like a girl. Whenever he got around Mindy like this, he was always nervous.

"Okay, be more careful, you got out of the hospital a little earlier than I would liked. We don't need you going back."

"Yes, sir." Marcus left, and Dave and Mindy untangled themselves from the curtain.

"Thanks, I owe you." Dave wonder what he owed her, and if he should think about it.

"You're damn right, now I need you to dry me off." Dave gulped, and got a towel from the cabinet. He slowly dried her off, and Mindy could her Dave mumble under hid breath, and she knew this was killing him.

Mindy wrapped the towel around her, and walked to her room. She put on her undergarments, and a pair of Hit Girl pajamas that Dave had got her for Christmas last year for fun.

"You actually wear those?" Dave couldn't believe it. Hit Girl was wearing Hit Girl pajamas.

"Might as well. You should see if Marcus has some old clothes you can borrow." Dave nodded, and went to the kitchen to find Marcus.

Mindy went to her DVD cabinet. She knew if she couldn't train, or go on patrol without hurting herself because of a drug side effect, or something she should do something, or she would die of boredom. She debated with herself over whether to watch "Conan the Barbarian" with Arnold, or "Predator" with Arnold. She settled on "Predator", and sat back to watch Arnie fight an alien.

Dave walked in a few minutes later in an old pair of Marcus' pants, and a button up shirt. Dave looked at the TV screen to see what Mindy was watching.

"I love this movie." Dave sat next to Mindy on her bed, and settled back to watch as well. By the time Arnold said "GET TO DA CHOPPA!" Mindy was asleep. Dave looked at the clock. It was 6 o'clock, he might as well follow the lead he found out last night. Dave kissed Mindy on the forehead, and walked to the door. A quick "Bye" to Marcus, and he was at his car in a minute.

Dave drove home to get his Big Daddy costume, and a bag of interogation equipment he had decided to bring. He slowly put on the costume, piece by piece until he was Big Daddy. He slung the large duffel bag over his shoulder, and walked out the back door.

He made his way to 5th and Cresent using alleys, and side streets. He saw the dilapidated apartment, and tried to find a backdoor to the building.

There was one, but at the jiggle of the handle he knew he would have to pick it. When he first started out as Kick Ass he wouldn't have known where to start. But a year-and-a-half's training had given him many skills. The lock was deftly picked, and Big Daddy made his way inside.

He found apartment 13 quickly enough, and once he was sure he was out of the way of the peephole, he knocked. He waited a minute, then knocked again. Satisfied no one was home Big Daddy picked the lock on that door as well. He made sure it was completely dark, and settled into a corner to wait.

He didn't have to wait long, as he heard the key turn in the lock, and the door opened. A man came in, smelling of malt liquor and feet. Big Daddy deftly came up behind him, and put him in a choke hold. The man quickly collapsed, Big Daddy dropped him to the floor.

Big Daddy rummaged through the duffel he brought, and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, and a length of rope. He cuffed the man's hands behind his back, and tied his feet together. He noticed the exposed boards on the ceiling, so he hung the man from them upside down.

He removed the man's shirt, and noticed a crude bandage on his arm. He removed it, and studied the wound. Satisfied this was his man he waited for him to wake up. As he studied the man's face, Big Daddy realized he knew who this man was. It was former NYPD detective Vic Gigante, who had been dismissed on suspected criminal activities after the fall of the D'Amicos.

Big Daddy grinned as an idea came to him. He searched the duffel, and came up with a video camera. He had put this in there just in case. Just in case what? He didn't know, better safe than sorry. He set the camera until he was sure it was pointed at Gigante, and hit "Record".

He heard at groan from Gigante, and gave him a slap to wake him up. Gigante groaned again, and Big Daddy just slapped him harder.

"Wake up." Big Daddy spoke in a imitation of Christian Bale's Batman.

Gigante finally open his eyes at the growling town. He spotted Big Daddy, and quickly became a blubering mess.

"Gigante, I'm going to ask you one question. Where is Chris D'Amico?" Big Daddy wasn't really expecting an answer, so he got out an interogation tool. He reached into the duffel, and pulled out a small blow torch. As he lit it he saw Gigante's eyes widen in fear.

"Where is he?" Gigante didn't answer again, so Big Daddy stuck the torch to his back. Gigante tried to scream, but Big Daddy clamped a hand over his mouth, and let his back burn. Big Daddy took the torch off Gigante's back, and tried again.

"Where is he?" Gigante trembled, and cried. Once again, the part of him not consumed by vengence for his angel quailed at what he had done, but a darker part of just laughed, and told his body to keep going.

"I don't know." Big Daddy decided a different persuasion technique was in order. He pointed the still lit torch at Gigante's crotch, inched it closer.

"No, please don't, I don't know where he is, but I do know where we were supposed to meet tomorrow." Gigante sighed in relief as the blow torch moved, hoping this might let him keep his life.

"Where?" A dangerous underton entered Big Daddy's voice. He better not be fucking with him.

"At warehouse 23 at the the old wharf." Gigante saw Big Daddy pull a knife from his boot, and hoped he was about to be cut down. He was wrong. Big Daddy jammed the knife into Gigante's crotch up to the hilt, and left it. Big Daddy looked into the camera, and said, "You're next Chris." He turned the camera off, and put it, and his other supplies back into the duffel.

Big Daddy turned to the still screaming figure of Gigante. He pulled a stilletto from his utility belt, and cut him down. He hit the floor with a thud, and finally shut up. Big Daddy shouldered the duffle, and grabbed the end of the rope. He pulled Gigante down the hallway, out the front door, and into the street. He dropped the rope, and rummaged in the bag until he came out with a small can of kerosene.

"It was just a job!" Gigante yelled in a significantly higher pitch. He screamed as the kerosene poured over him entered his wounds.

"You've just been fired." Big Daddy calmly struck a match, and let it drop on Gigante. As he burst into Big Daddy ran down a side alley, and kept running until he was far away. Big Daddy dropped to his knees and removed his mask.

"What have I done?" Dave asked this of himself out loud. It was like he was a different person in the Big Daddy suit.

"You are getting vengeance for Mindy, and her father." Dave looked up startled. Who the fuck was that? A figure materialized from the shadows. It was...himself? Himself stepped from the darkness, a figure with white skin, red eyes, and a moustache, and goatee.

"Am I going insane?" Dave knew the answer. Mindy's near death had almost completey destroyed him.

"Maybe, but as long as Red Mist pays, it would be worth it. It was poetic justice with what you did to Gigante." Dark Dave stepped forward, giving off a strong smell of brimstone.

"I should have gave Gigante to the police. What I did was wrong." Dave shook his head. He had gone way overboard. Mindy probably wouldn't have objected, but it went against his morals.

"No, it was right. You could feel the hatred flow through you." Dave looked up at Dark Dave. Jesus, he sounds like fucking Darth Vader.

"Go to hell." Dave stood up, and put his mask on. A quick stop by home to change, and he could spend the rest of the night with Mindy.

Author's Note: Dave's fuckin crazy now, right? Naw, just temporary. BTW no there is not 2 Daves, I just kind of mashed Francois from Youth in Revolt, and Nega Scott from Scott Pilgrim, along with a little Star Trek:TOS reference. As usual reviews are welcome, and if you don't like why are you still here? I don't own anything. 


	5. Monster

Author's Note:Chapter 5 is here! Will Dave find Red Mist? Will Mindy care about Dave's "insanity"? All these and more will be answered. Theme for this chapter is "Monster" by Skillet.

Dave made it to Mindy's apartment at about midnight, barely. He knocked on the door, which was answered by Mindy.

"Hey, sup." Dave's breath smelled awful, as did whatever was in his cup.

"What the fuck are you drinking now?" Mindy was really pissed, she just wondered what could drive Dave to drink.

"Vodka and Red Bull, it's awesome." Mindy sighed as she took Dave by the hand, and led him to her room.

"Dave, you need to go to sleep." Dave nodded sleepily, and removed all his clothing, save boxers, and climbed into bed. He was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Mindy looked at the clock above her bed, and noted the time was 12:15. Since it was really tomorrow, she figured she might do a little investigating into her attack.

She raised the loosened floorboards of her room, and slowly donned her too-small costume. She hoped Dave took the hint she dropped a couple weeks ago about a new. She noted with interest it was tightest across the chest. That should please Dave to no end.

She equipped herself with a large machete hidden under her cape, a small stiletto in her boot. a couple of smoke grenades, and a SIG Sauer P226. Satisfied she could handle about anything she went to go fight some crime.

Her first stop was a nice Italian resturant close to the D'Amico's old penthouse. It was known to be frequented by old "friends" of D'Amico.

Mindy sat on the roof to spot a likely target to interogate. To her delight she could hear people talking on the outside patio where they could eat as well. She used her training to pick out people's conversations until she heard a likely one.

"Did you hear about what happened to the assassin?" The questioner was a large man in a blue suit, talking to his companion, a small, thin man in gray.

"Yeah, burned alive, after being stabbed in the balls." The thin man chuckled a little ironicly.

"I heard from our mole with the cops that because the body was so burnt up before they got there it's tough to ID." The large man took a drink from his wine.

"What are you talking about about? Everybody knows it was Gigante."

Hit Girl gasped at that. The man who had framed her father for drug dealing, and sent him on a spiral of vengence, was dead? Who could have, and more importanly, would have done it. As if in answer the large man told the small man who done it.

"They're saying it was a superhero. Micky told me he was in solid black, and kinda looked like Batman."

"You mean like the one D'Amico had killed on the computer?"

"Yeah, but it can't be him. He was burned alive. Ironic ain't it?" Both men decended in to chuckles, and Hit Girl felt she had learned all she could now. A quick glance at her watch told her it was almost 3 o'clock. She had enough time to do a quick circut around her block, and then home.

She walked into an abandoned resturant close to the apartment, as it would do for Hit Girl to be seen there. She changed into a pair of sweats, and started the short walk home. On her patrol around the block she had only seen a dealer trying to sell crack to a hobo. The dealer had been dealt with, as in she killed him and took his cash,

Dave didn't like her killing, but didn't really say anything about it. He was smart enough to not try to change her. She heard the sound of an engine, and turned around to see an orange sports car speed off. She could've swore she saw that same car more than once tonight. Putting away in the files of her mind for later, she slowly ascended the stairwell, and made her way to her apartment door. She unlocked it, and walked in.

She slowly walked to her bedroom, and noticed with disappointment that Dave was gone. She put away all her supplies, and set her alarm.

Dave had awoken at around 2:30, and decided to go home, despite his huge hangover. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he was addicted to the power. Kind of like Anakin Skywalker, or Peter Parker in Spider Man 3. He knew he should quit wearing the suit, but his dark side wouldn't let him, not until either he himself was dead, or D'Amico was.

He pulled the Impala into his driveway, and walked into his home. The place was a mess, it looked like a fuckin' tornado had came through.

"Dad?" No answer, Dave ran upstairs and saw his room ransacked. His computer was on, and it looked like someone had made a video on his webcam. Dave hit the play button, and watched as Red Mist sat down in the chair Dave was sitting in. Except it wasn't Red Mist, not exactly. His costume was now orange, with a Japanese/samuri mask thing, and what looked like a katana slung over his shoulder.

"Hello Dave. Did you really think I wouldn't find out? You, and that little she-devil both left blood in dad's penthouse. As many times as you have been in the hospital your DNA wasn't hard to track down. Now her's on the other hand was almost impossible to find. I had to call in quite a few favors owed to my father to find out about little Mindy." D'Amico's grin grew wider at this. "But she's not so little anymore, is she Dave? What do think about me and her hooking up after I kill you? After long enough maybe she wouldn't try to kill me anymore. Sorry about your dad, but we needed bait so you would come to the warehouse on my terms. I knew you would find Gigante, and I knew he would talk. Come to the warehouse Gigante said, and come alone."

Dave held his anger in check, but just barely. D'Amico was clearly insane. As much as Dave loathed to, he knew he would have to put on the suit. Dave donned the suit, and became Big Daddy. He knew he would have to arm himself, to at least free his father. Mindy had hidden quite a few weapons at his house, and he was glad to have these. He pulled a 1911 Colt 45 from under his bed, and a Franchi SPAS-12 from a false wall in his closet. He turned to leave the the ruined room, and find his dad.

Hit Girl watched as Big Daddy walked from his house, and got into the Impala. Hit Girl noticed he was heading for the docks. She followed him in a car she had "borrowed" from her apartment complex.

She watched as he drove from the newer docks down to the old ones. He pulled into the small space in front of one marked "23". Also in the lot was an orange Ferrari Spyder. So, she had been followed earlier. She watched as Big Daddy exited his car, a climbed a ladder up to the upper floor.

Big Daddy stood on the upper floor, looking on D'Amico and his entourage. They were a colorful group to say the least. One had on some type of leather armor, and held a flame-thrower as a weapon. Another had a huge axe, and was dressed like a viking. Two were dressed in similar costumes of black leather trench coats, one held an assault rifle, the other held an AA-12 shotgun. The last one was a woman, she was dressed as a dominatrix or something. D'Amico himself was dressed in an orange variant of his Red Mist suit, he held a silver plated pistol loosely in his left hand, and a katana in his right.

Big Daddy decided to announce his presence the old fashioned way. He raised his 45, and switched on the green laser sight. He aimed at the motherfucker with the AA-12, and shot him in the head. All of them but D'Amico jumped at the shot.

"Hello, Big Daddy." D'Amico gave him a smug smile.

"Hello, Chris, now tell me where my dad is." Big Daddy was impatient, his darker side telling him to open fire.

"Ah, ah, ah. It's not Chris, it's the Motherfucker, and these are the Cunts." The Motherfucker swept his arm towards his men proudly.

"Tell me where my dad is." A deeper growl entered his voice. The part of his mind that was Dave was losing his grip on his body, it was slipping into the control of the Monster, his "dark side" as it were.

"All in good time. First, let's play." Motherfucker was grinning, but Big Daddy saw the frightened gleam in his eye.

"Get him." The asshole with the assault rifle open fire on Big Daddy sprayed his chest with bullets, watching with dismay as most of them clanged off.

Big Daddy staggered back a few steps. He raised his head, and looked Motherfucker in the eye, and grinned. Motherfucker shied back from that. It wasn't the grin of a man, it was the soulless grin of a monster.

Big Daddy open fire with his 45, hitting the flame-thrower guy's tank. The tank quickly spewed fuel all over him, and kept him out of the fight. Big Daddy ran out of ammo rather quickly, as Motherfucker yelled for reinforcements. His switched to his shotgun and started to fire and pump, fire and pump. He quickly ran dry in it to, so he ducked back down behind his cover, and started throwing shit. He threw a couple of grenades, a flare, and some rocks he found on the ground. The flare had ignighted the spilt fuel, but there was still too many of them. Big Daddy knew that his armor couldn't stop that many bullets.

As BIg Daddy yanked a combat knife from his boot, and prepared to meet his enemies in a last stand. Much to his surprise he heard screams, and shouts of "What the fuck?" He peaked up over his cover, and saw his guardian angel. A purple-clad demoness of destruction. Her bladed bo-staff quickly decimated the ranks of men. Big Daddy picked up a fallen gun and rejoined the fray. Soon, all that was left was Big Daddy, Hit Girl, Motherfucker, and his woman.

"This isn't the last you'll see of me." Motherfucker quickly turned and ran, followed by his woman.

"What the fuck, Dave?" Mindy looked over to Dave in the Big Daddy costume. His head was down, and his shoulders were shaking as if in laughter.

"Why are you laughing, you douchebag, you could've died." Mindy walked over to him, and realized his wasn't laughing. He was crying. Dave removed the mask, and fell to his knees, crying.

"Help me, I hate this, I don't want to kill." Dave looked pleadingly at Mindy. Mindy felt pity. She knew Dave wasn't raised by the time he was 5 to be a Terminator/Punisher type of person. She gently cradled his head in her arms, and held him tight.

"I don't know how, Dave." Mindy was telling the truth. This slaughter didn't bother her a bit.

"Dave, you gotta be strong, for your dad." Dave nodded.

"Then I'll do it as Kick Ass, not a spirit of vengence." Dave stood up and walked purposely towards the door, Hit Girl's hand in his. Motherfucker didn't know the unholy hell he had brought on himself.

Author's Note: There ya go. Dave isn't crazy...for now. Did Mindy care that Dave killed? No. But who might? That's to be found out next time. Thanks for reading, as usual I own nothing. 


	6. These Colors Don't Run

Author's Note: Chapter 6 is here. Sorry if last chapter was a little sucky, I was running on fumes, and I don't know why I didn't wait until my head was cleared. This chapter will have a little action, some romance, and hopefully intrigue. Theme song for this chapter is "These Colors Don't Run" by Iron Maiden.

Dave and Mindy drove Dave's car back to Mnidy's apartment. It was about 6:00 in the morning, luckily Marcus had already left for work. Dave stumbled to the couch, and fell there with a thud, passed out. Mindy made it back to her room, and crashed onto bed. She awoke later to the sound of yelling voices in the kitchen.

"What the hell were you thinking, Dave?" Marcus had came home from lunch to check on Mindy, and found Dave on the couch with half of the Big Daddy suit on.

"I was thinking of Mindy, I had to get revenge on those bastards!" Dave was red in the face. Who was Marcus to call him out? He did with extreme prejudice, sure, but it was the for the greater good. Mindy had silently crept to the living, and peered around the corner onto the kitchen.

"My best friend, and partner thought like that Dave, and it's insanity got him burned alive on the Internet!" Both Marcus and Mindy turned when they heard the sound of a gasp, followed by a sob.

"Mindy?" Both said this simultaneously, and turned to glare at each other. Mindy stepped from the living room to the kitchen, and glared at Marcus through tear-filled eyes.

"So, Daddy was insane, huh, Marcus? He was insane to try and get the bastard responible for his arrest, and the death of his wife? Insane to want revenge on the man that cost me a childhood? Marcus, I love you, and that's why I haven't tried to kill you yet. But don't talk about him that way ever again." Mindy breathed deep, and turned to walk away.

Dave came up behind her, and swept her up into a hug. Mindy turned around to face him, and cried on his shoulder. Dave knew what Mindy was going through. His mother had died three years ago, and they hadn't been as close as Mindy and Damon, it had still hit him hard.

"Mindy, I'm sorry?" Dave knew dressing like Big Daddy might have brought up some painful memories.

"For what, dumbass?" Mindy was puzzled. Dave hadn't done anything wrong. She was touched he cared enough to go against his morals, and to lose his sanity for a while. All for her.

"If being Big Daddy brought up any painful memories."

"You're not the one that called him crazy." Mindy turned to glare at Marcus, who was cursing himself, and thanking God Mindy cared enough not to try and kill him.

"Do you want to go to my place?" Dave thought Mindy could hang out there for a while if she was pissed at Marcus.

"Sure, let me grab some stuff." Mindy ran to her room to pack, leaving Marcus and Dave alone.

"Dave, I don't appro-." Marcus was cut off as Dave angrily repiled.

"Marcus, I respect the hell out of you for what you do, but the only person's opinion I care about is Mindy's, so fuck off." Dave turned around and walked to Mindy's room. Mindy was sitting on her bed, quietly sobbing.

"Dave, I miss him." Mindy hated for anyone, but epescially Dave to see her in an emotionaly vulnerable state.

"I know Mindy, I miss my mom. But all I know to tell you is life goes on. It doesn't help, but thats all I know to do."

"It helps more than you know." Mindy grinned at Dave, and kissed him. She stood up, and Dave followed her out the door, and out the the apartment. Marcus had left back for work. Dave and Mindy walked down to the Impala and drove to Dave's house. They walked in, the place was still tore all to hell.

"This place is a mess." Mindy looked around the room, noticing everything scattered all over the place.

"Or, this mess is a place." Mindy smiled at Dave, who was referencing a tattoo of William Murderface, on another of their favorite shows, Metalocalypse.

"Come on, this isn't gonna clean itself." Mindy hung up her jacket, and started picking up DVDs, and CDs, organizing them into a structured pile. Dave started righting furniture, and hanging unbroken pictures back up, of which there were few. As they cleaned both reflected on what had been an awesome, and scary past few days. Dave had almost lost his mind in a violent torrent of revenge. Mindy had almost lost her life do to a madman's manipulations. A madman who soon would no longer be around to bother them.

After they had cleaned the house to some semblance of cleanliness they decided to have dinner. Dave went out to get a pizza, and came back with it, and a six-pack of Red Bull.

"Why the hell do you have those?" Mindy had never drank a Red Bull before, she didn't feel she needed one. Dave, do to being a nerd, used to drink them a lot for all night Internet, or video game marathons.

"You've never drank a Red Bull?" Dave would have figured Mindy had Red Bull for blood.

"No, why?" Mindy was curious as to why Dave thought Red Bull was so good.

"Here, drink one." Mindy took the 16oz can, and popped the top. As she slowly drank it she began to feel a little giddy. This shit was awesome! Mindy quickly glugged it down, in a very unladylike fashion, and grabbed another. As she glugged it down too Dave took the rest and ran to his room. He threw them onto his bed, locked the door, and went back downstairs to confront Red Bull Mindy.

As soon as he stepped onto the floor he was tackled. Mindy leaned down, and kissed him with such ferocity he was instantly aroused.

"Mindy, hold on, remember our deal!" Dave didn't want to be raped by a woman. He didn't want to be raped at all.

"Fuck the deal! I want you now, or I'm gonna kick your ass." Dave managed to push Mindy off of him long enough for him to make it up the stairs, but as he was trying to unlock the door to his room Mindy pushed him up against the wall.

"Okay you cunt, let's see what you can do now." It was that line. The line spoken in Rasul's drug den. Although he would have been ashamed to admit it, and felt a little perverted at it too, that line actually turned him on. Mindy pulled him into a kiss, and placed his left hand onto her budding breasts.

"Dave, Mindy, where are you?" Neither of them heard the question asked by Marty, as he and Todd walked in. They saw Dave and Mindy making out on the balcony.

"Hey, Marty, do have any dollar bills, this is a helluva show." Todd asked loudly, enough where Dave heard it, and managed to break the makeout session. Mindy gave Dave a pout that would have been adorable, had it not been for the feral look in her eyes.

"Uh, hey Todd, Marty." Dave looked at them a little guiltily. How far would it have gone had they not shown up, and the real question, did he really give a damn?

"What's up with Mindy dude?" Marty looked up at her a little worridley.

"She chugged two Red Bulls."

"Aw, rookie mistake. We heard about your dad dude, sorry." Dave knew they were talking about him being kidnapped. Mindy had left a note for Marcus when they had got home that morning, and it went out on the news.

"Yeah dude, so we thought we'd come and chill with you for a while. Do you want to watch a DVD or something?" Mindy looked up at the mention of a DVD.

"Let's watch _Let Me In_." Dave looked up at Mindy, knowing she'd became a little obsessed with Chole Moretz after Dave said they looked alike.

About an hour later found Dave and Mindy snuggled on the couch, with Todd and Marty on the floor.

"Ya know, it's a little sad when a 12 year old girl vampire is more badass than a 18, 19, or however hold the bitch is vampire. I mean glitters in the sun. What the fuck?" All three dudes looked at Mindy, and just nodded, thinking roughly the same thing.

The movie ended, and Todd and Marty said they had to go home. Todd was taking classes at a local university to become a writer for video games, and shit like that. Marty had just got a job at Starbucks, and had to get up early.

"Goodbye, dude, see you later." Dave nodded, and gave both of them a hug. It may have been a little weird, but they were his friends, and he was glad they were there.

MIndy looked at Dave after Todd and Marty left, and realized how much he had matured in the past two years. He had went from a whiney, wimpy nerd to a badass, ass kicking nerd.

"Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to scare you." Dave looked at Mindy.

"It was my fault, I shouldn't have let you have two." Mindy smirked at his parental tone.

"What are you dude, my boyfriend, or my parent." Dave smiled at Mindy, nodded upstairs.

"Let's go to bed, I'm tired."

"I know, Red Bull crash sucks." Mindy and Dave trudged upstairs, and undressed each other down to the undergarments, then climed into bed.

The alarm went off on Dave's alarm clock at 7 o'clock the next morning. Dave slowly awoke from quite an erotic dream he was having.

"Okay, Mindy, I'll get all the marmalade. I LIKE IT ROUGH!" Dave sat up in bed, and looked over at Mindy, who was trying hard not to laugh.

"What was that dream about." She asked innocently, as one might ask the time. Dave blushed profusely, and mumble under his breath.

"I didn't quite get that." Mindy gave her trademark smirk as Dave stuttered over words to try to articulate his thoughts.

"Uh, it was, uh, I was grocery shopping!" Dave had a triumphant look on his face, as if that was the perfect answer.

"Was it rough grocery shopping?"

"Uh, maybe."

"I just fucking with you. Get up, what are we doing today?" Mindy wanted to know. Even though she recovered she was still out of school till next week.

"Well, you don't have school, I don't have work, we could go see a movie, and then maybe hit up Atomic Comics, the I figured we could go out on patrol tonight."

"That sounds awesome, let's get ready." Mindy got out of bed, and walked towards the shower. He decided tonight would be the perfect time to give Mindy a couple of her presents early. A few minutes later Mindy walked back into the room in a towel, and Dave went to go shower. He noticed the black dye in his hair was wearing off, so he re-applied it. He had gotten used to it. He walked back into his room, and changed into a black "Rammstein" shirt, and black cargo shorts. Mindy had on a "Black Sabbath" shirt, and purple skinny jeans.

"What movie do you want to see?" Mindy was trying to decide between the new "Ghost Rider" or "Wrath of the Titans".

"I wanna see the new _Ghost Rider_, it looks pretty badass."

"Cool." Mindy and Dave walked into the theater, and sat down to watch "Ghost Rider".

A couple hours later they walked, out completely blown away.

"That was awesome!" Dave was geeking out over it.

"Dude calm down, but yeah, it was pretty epic. Now come on, let's go to Atomic Comics."

Mindy and Dave drove down to Atomic Comics, they both saw Katie in there talking to...Chris D'Amico.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"Maybe Chris didn't use DNA after all."

"I'm going to kill that bitch!" Mindy started to march towards the door.

"Mindy, wait, we're not _us_, we need our spare clothes." Mindy's march abruptly halted.

"Dammit, you're right."

"Get back in the car, I know where to go."

Dave and Mindy drove to the storage garage where the kept the Mistmobile.

"Let's go." Dave unlocked the side-door, and switched on the lights. Mindy gasped as the newly re-worked Mistmobile, if it could be called that now, sat it all it's glory. It was painted Hit Girl purple, with "HG" in pink on the doors, the plates nor read "HitGirl".

"Dude, this is fucking awesome. How did you pay for this?" Mindy knew Dave didn't have this much money.

"I've been saving our money from crooks, and my mom left me a little money." Mindy leapt onto Dave, and pulled him into a kiss.

"Mindy, come on, we need to get dressed." Mindy slowly nodded, and was rewarded with another surprise as Dave gave her the new jumpsuit, and kukri knives.

"Dave, you're gonna spoil me."

"You deserve it." Mindy and Dave got into their costumes as quickly as possible, Kick Ass emerging from Dave, and Hit Girl emerging from Mindy.

"You can drive." Hit Girl looked at Kick Ass incredously. The last time she had drove Kick Ass admitted a few months later she had scared the shit out of him.

"Really?" Kick Ass nodded, and both of them climbed into the HitGirlMobile. Hit Girl sat in the driver's seat, and saw the interior was done in purple too.

"Hey, what's that button?" Hit Girl pointed at a large pink button on the dashboard, about to touch it. Kick Ass swiftly grabbed her hand.

"Don't touch that yet, wait till we're outside, that's the nitrous." Hit Girl's eyes widened at the mention of NOS.

"I got a fucking NOS injected car? Sweet." Hit Girl put the car in gear, and slowly drove it out onto the street. It was pretty much a straight shot from here to Atomic Comics, so when Kick Ass wasn't looking, Hit Girl hit the button. The car shot forward, Hit Girl grinning like a lunatic, Kick Ass screaming like a girl. Just before they got to the comics store the car, thankfully, slowed down. They pulled it into an alley, and walked to the front of the store. Kick Ass peered around the corner into window, sure enough, they were still there.

"How do we play this?" Hit Girl knew they couldn't just go in guns blazing.

"How about we act like we're just visiting, or something like that?"

"That could work, let's go." Hit Girl and Kick Ass walked to the front door, and walked in as bold as you please. Everybody in the store turned to see Kick Ass Hit Girl standing at the door.

"Hello...comic fans...I'm Kick Ass, and this...is my partner Hit Girl." Kick Ass intoned this in the way Adam West had as Batman, and Damon Macready did Big Daddy. They were swarmed in an instant, and out of the corner of eye Kick Ass saw Chris still sitting there, looking as if his head was about to explode.

"Kick Ass, will sign my comic?"

"Hit Girl, will you marry me?" Hit Girl and Kick Ass politely declined the requests and managed to make it over to Chris and Katie's table.

"Hello...citizens." Kick Ass said this in a friendly tone, but Hit Girl's glare was so full of hatred, the Death Star's laser wouldn't have killed an ant in comparison.

"Hello Kick Ass." Chris sneered the name, and glared right back at Hit Girl. Katie looked slightly ashamed, and kept her face pointed at the table.

"We were...wondering...what an..._important_...man like you...was doing in a...quaint little comic store...like this." Chris looked up at Kick Ass with undisguised hatred.

"I am here with my new girlfriend." Chris nodded his head at Katie, who slowly nodded.

"Well...nice metting you...Mr D'Amico." Kick Ass held out his hand to shake. Chris reluctanly shook it, since a lot of people were watching. Kick Ass and Hit Girl nodded at everybody.

"Hit Girl...back to headquarters!" Hit Girl gave a slight groan, and followed Kick Ass out of the store.

"Did you get it?"

"I think so, but I still don't know where you get all that spy type stuff." He was refering to a small tracking device that was invisible to the naked eye.

"Daddy had a lot of contacts, some of them were KGB, or something like that."

"Cool, we need to go home, and set up the computer to track that don't we?"

"Yes, let's go." Mindy jumped into the HitGirlMobile, and Kick Ass followed. They drove it back to storage garage, and changed back into cicilian clothes.

"Okay, we have a tracking device on D'Amico. Now all we have to do is follow him back to his current hide out, and we got him."

"Dave, you know we ain't calling the police for him. right?"

"I know, I have a score to settle with that bastard too." Mindy was proud of Dave. He really had changed. She leaned up and kissed him.

"What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason, dumbass?" Dave chuckled.

"Of course not, I love you too."

"I know."

Author's Note: The end of chapter 6, which hopefully had enough romance for. At the beginning were Dave didn't seem to care very much about killing, it still went against his personal morals, and he didn't like it, he just did it for Mindy. So, will they find Chris, and did Katie reveal their true identities? To be answered on the next installment of Wrong, but oh so Right. As always I own nothing.


	7. Moskau

Author's Note: Chapter 7 is here. So, will Dave and Mindy track down Chris? Did Katie tell him who they really were? BTW way this is still day 10, so about 9 more chapters, give or take. Theme for this is "Moskau" by Rammstein.

Dave and Mindy had reached Dave's house to find Marcus' SUV out front. They walked up the front steps to find Marcus in the kitchen.

"How did you get in without a key?" Dave looked at Marcus, a little pissed off that he had came into his house uninvited.

"Dave, we have news of your father." Dave and Mindy both stared at him, silently willing him to go on.

"A black SUV pulled up in front of the police department, and dumped him out on the steps. He had been shot nine times in the torso. He didn't make it. I'm so sorry Dave." Dave looked stunned at this development. He had killed Chris' father, and Chris had killed his. He started to silently sob, and fell down to his knees on the floor. Mindy wrapped him in a tight hug, and Marcus grabbed his shoulder.

"Dave, baby, I'm sorry." Mindy knew it wouldn't help. It hadn't helped her, but it was all she could do right now. That motherfucker had played a part in both of their father's deaths. Mindy had a sneaking hunch that Chris didn't know who they were, until Dave choose her over Katie. Katie knew that D'Amico was Red Mist. But she choose to go out with him. Either she was really naive, or a vindictive bitch.

"Don't be, it's not your fault." Dave now had an even bigger score to settle with D'Amico now, and knew that while he did it as Kick Ass, he would still make that asshole suffer.

"Will you two be okay, I know this sounds impersonal, but I do need to go back to work." Marcus wanted to patch up things with Dave, He was a good guy, Mindy couldn't have picked a better one. Dave looked up at him.

"It's cool. Marcus, I'm sorry about earlier. I was being an ass. I'm not the only one that cares about Mindy." Marcus smiled gratefully.

"It's okay, you're a good man. I'm proud Mindy has you." Dave and Mindy smiled up at him, and hugged him goodbye.

"What to do now? It's only 6:30." Dave poked around in the DVD pile until he came up with "Hot Fuzz."

"You wanna watch this?" Mindy looked at the cover, showing two policemen walking in front of a firestorm.

"What is it?" Dave stared at Mindy in amazement, a cop movie she hadn't seen?

"It's a cop movie. It's got the dude that plays Mr Scott in the Star Trek reboot." Mindy nodded in recognition of Simon Pegg.

"Awesome, let's watch it." Dave popped it into the DVD player, and they watched as Simon Pegg and Nick Frost uncovered the conspiracy of the village elders.

"That was pretty cool, but a cop really would have a shitload of paperwork to do." Dave looked at the clock. It read a little after nine o'clock.

"Let's see if there are any good music videos on TV. Dave flipped it over onto TV, and flipped through music video channels until they saw the beginning of the Rammstein video for "Ich tu dir weh".

"This band kicks ass." Mindy looked up at Dave, that explained the t-shirt.

"You can't understand them."

"Just watch." Mindy watched as the German heavy metal band belted out lyrics, and she noticed a light shining from the lead singer's mouth.

"That's a good effect."

"That's not an effect, he had a wire ran through his cheek, and a light shone out of it." Mindy looked at the dude, impressed.

"He's fuckin' commited, would have made a good superhero." Dave nodded in agreement. Despite the number of other superheroes that had emerged after Kick Ass appeared, most of them had quit, or been killed by now. Only a dedicated few, including Mindy and Dave, remained to guard to innocent. Dave looked at the clock again.

"I'm going to bed." Mindy nodded and started to channel surf as Dave trudged up the steps to his room. He lay on the bed, still clothed, and started to softly cry. That bastard killed his father. It sounded like a cliche, but Dave swore revenge on him right then and there. Dave stopped sobbing as Mindy walked into the room.

"Dave, you know I'm here for you." Dave nodded, then realized Mindy couldn't see it in the dark.

"I know. I'm gonna kill that bastard." Mindy walked over to Dave, and wrapped him in a hug.

"I know, Dave, _we_ are gonna kill that bastard. Remember what you said yesterday, life goes on." Dave nodded into Mindy's shoulder.

"I feel like a pussy for crying like this. I should have found him, saved him."

"Dave, don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault. It took me a year to realize that. I kept thinking, if I had got there a little earlier I could have saved both of you. But I finally realized that it was what it was." Dave pulled Mindy down onto the bed.

"I love you more than anyone has ever loved anybody Mindy." Mindy smiled at Dave in the darkness.

"I know, I love you too." Dave hugged Mindy close to him. Although he would have expected nightmares, with Mindy there he got a good sleep.

Dave woke up in the morning with Mindy still wrapped in his arms. He looked down on her angelic face while she slept. He knew he couldn't love anybody as much as he loved her. He would die if anything ever happened to Mindy. Mindy slowly awoke to find Dave staring at her.

"What?"

"I've never seen anyone so beautiful." Mindy blushed at Dave's praise.

"Did have anymore grocery dreams?" It was Dave's turn to blush.

"N-,no."

"What was it really about?" Mindy smirked as Dave's face grew redder.

"Uh, we were, uh, both naked, and uh, I had a jar of marmalade. You made me spread it on you, and you uh, told me if I didn't get it all off I wouldn't get _dessert."_ Dave looked down at his feet, as Mindy blushed again. Wow, that was kinky. Could she really give dreams like that to Dave?

"Okay, now I know. What are we going to do today?"

"We need to get something for my computer, so it will read the tracking device." Mindy nodded.

"Okay, let's change, and we can go." Dave nodded, and stood up out of bed. As he slid he shorts, and boxers off Mindy noticed he didn't put any boxers back on as he slid on a clean pair of skinny jeans.

"Dude, why aren't you wearing boxers?"

"I'm free-ballin'." Mindy just shook her head. Thank God she didn't have balls. Dave went to the hamper, and started smelling shirts to see which one was wearable.

"Now what are you doing?"

"All my good shirts are dirty. I'm not wearing a nerd shirt again." Dave continued to look, and smell, until he came up with a "Halo: Reach" shirt.

"Is that game any good?" Mindy nodded over to his Xbox, which had been miraculously undamaged.

"It is awesome. It's better than _"Cock of Doody 4:Modern Gayfuckstupid"_. Mindy snickered at his description.

"_Arby n' the Chief_? Really?"

"What can I say? I'm still a nerd at heart." Mindy just shook her head ruefully, and walked down the stairs.

"What? What did say? Mindy?" Dave ran after her down stairs, and they walked to his car.

"Where are we gonna get that shit? I'm sure it's illegal."

"Very. But Daddy had a Russian contact named Sergei Ivanov. Daddy said he hung out at a bar called _Comrades_."

"Where is it?"

"I don't know." Dave and Mindy drove around what could be considered Russian-town, until they finally saw a dingy bar with a sign that read "Comrades" hanging above the door.

"Let's go." Dave exited the car, and followed Mindy up the steps. Mindy opened the door, and they walked into the dimly lit bar. The bartender looked at both of them.

"Little girls should no be here. Leave." Before Mindy could reply, or kill the guy, Dave replied.

"Мы ищем Сергей Иванов. " Mindy looked at Dave in wonder. Since when did he speak Rusian?

"Это пьяный в углу."

"Спасибо, товарищ." The bartender just nodded, and waved them off. Mindy looked up at Dave.

"Dude, since when do you speak Russian?"

"My family on my mom's side was Russian. I'm Polish on my dad's side. My mom could speak fluent Russian because of her grandmother, and she taught me some. I can't speak it very good, but I can speak a little."

"That could come in handy." Dave nodded as they made their way to the back corner. They saw what looked like a pile of rags slumped in a seat, smelling strongly of vodka. Mindy kicked the chair, the pile snorted, and sat up, revealing a man.

"Are you Sergei Ivanov?"

"Who wants to know, полиции?" Mindy stepped forward.

"Did you know a man named Damon Macready?" The man's bloodshot eyes open wider at this, and the man looked more alert.

"As I said, who wants to know?" Dave stepped forward again.

"Его дочь, и сын-в-законе." The man sat up even straighter.

"Yes, I am Sergei, and I knew your father. Aren't you a little young to be married?" Before Mindy could answer he went on. "What do you need, Comrades?"

"My father got one of those KGB tracking devices, and we need to update our computer to track it." Sergei nodded.

"I have just the thing, Comrades, follow me." Sergei stood up and walked to the front door. As he neared it, the bartender started yelling at him in Russian. Sergei yelled back at him with just as much force. Mindy looked up at Dave with a questioning look. Dave just blushed, and looked down at the floor. Even Mindy would be sickened at what Sergei said. He didn't think what he described the bartender's mother and a donkey doing was physically possible though.

"Where is you car Comrade...?" Dave realized he hadn't given their names. Dave figured it would be best to use his great-grandfather's last name.

"I'm Dave Petrov, and this is Mindy." Sergei looked up in recognition at that name. Oh shit, Dave thought.

"You wouldn't happed to be related to Ivan Petrov would you?"

"Uh, that was my great-grandfather." Sergei exclaimed in Russian so fast Dave didn't catch it.

"That means we are cousins. My grandmother was your great-grandfather's sister. He moved to America after the war, and we heard nothing of him. I came here to find him after I left the Red Army in the early nineties, before the fall of the Soviets. We are family Dave!" Dave looked a little nervous. He couldn't remember if Russians liked the Polish or not.

'Sergei?"

"Yes, cousin?"

"Ivan was my great-grandfather, but he never had a son, only a daughter, my grandmother, who only had a daughter, my mom. Who married Jack Lezewski."

"You are Polish?"

"Yes."

"It is of no great matter. You are family, I will help you. I heard of your father's death in the news, I suspect you are out for vengeance, no?"

"Right Sergei, the bastard that killed him killed Mindy's father too." A sad look crossed Sergei's face.

"I had heard that. I'm am sorry for your loss Mindy, may I call you that?" Mindy nodded.

"Thank you, Sergei." Sergei nodded, then quickly motioned for Dave to stop.

"Here, I will be back in a minute, my supplies are in here." Dave and Mindy nodded, and let Sergei get out.

"Dave, what did Sergei mean when he said I was too young to be married?" Dave looked sheepish at this.

"Uh, I forgot the Russian for boyfriend, so I said son-in-law, as in married to you." Mindy looked at little taken aback. Marry Dave? Sure, why the hell not. She wished he would change his name though. Mindy Petrov sounded better than Mindy Lezewski, no offence to his name.

Sergei came back out carrying a large duffle bag. It was at least six feet long. Dave popped the trunk, and he and Mindy got out to help.

"What the hell is all this stuff?" Sergei laughed at his surprise.

"Some parting gifts of the Soviets, and Mother Russia." Mindy went through the bag, noting AK-47s, RPGs, and a shitload of explosives.

"Sweet." Sergei nodded. Obviously this one appreciated things that go bang. They finally wrestled it all into the trunk. Then they all climbed back into the car. It was a silent drive home as Dave cranked up a Rammstein CD, and Sergei flipped it to "Moskau".

"Sergei, Mindy and I need to discuss something with you. Did you know Damon was Big Daddy?"

"I suspected, but never had any proof."

"What I'm about to tell you is secret, and if you tell anybody this, family or not, we will kill you." Instead of looking scared, or startled, Sergei looked exited.

"I'm used to that Dave, such were things in the Red Army." Dave took a deep breath, and let the bomb drop.

"I'm Kick Ass, and Mindy is Hit Girl."

"Really, that is quite a claim."

"You don't believe us?" Dave and Mindy looked at each other in surprise.

"I seen leader's say they were sent by heaven, or claim they were God. Why are you so different?"

"Because we help the innocent."

"A noble cause cousin, and if you are to be believed, then I shall help as well."

"Really, you'll help?"

"Yes, I have a great deal of knowledge on technical things, I could use pirated satellite feeds, and comm systems to help you on missions, and I have some experiance as a sniper, and a demolitions expert."

"That would be greatly appreciated, we could use all the help we could get." Dave pulled into his driveway. "Let's get that stuff unloaded, we got work to do."

Author's Note: I have introduced an OC. Yes I made Dave of Russian-Polish decent. Sue me. If you think Sergei should become a partner to Kick Ass and Hit Girl tell me, and try to think of superhero names for him, Russian sounding if you can think of any. As always I own nothing, and please review. I used Google Translator for the Russian, so it may be wrong. Мы ищем Сергей Иванов (We are looking for Sergei Ivanov), Это пьяный в углу (He is the drunk in the back corner), Спасибо, товарищ (Thank you, comrade), полиции (police), Его дочь, и сын-в-законе (His daughter, and son-in-law). Again, these may be wrong.


	8. Foolin'

_Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to post this. I have a bad case of laziness and writer's block. So, we'll see if Sergei becomes a superhero, and we'll see Dave and Mindy get up to some wackiness. Theme song for this is___Foolin by Def Leppard.

Dave, Mindy, and Sergei stood by the open grave as Jack's casket was lowered in. Mindy looked up at Dave and saw tears rolling silently down his face. Sergei gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked over to Dave's car.

"Are you okay, Dave?" Mindy knew what it was like to lose a father. Dave looked down at her and smiled despite the tears.

"I'm okay; I just want to fucking kill that bastard now." Mindy gave him a hug.

"I'll help you get him Dave, you know I will." Dave stooped to give Mindy a kiss, and they turned to walk to the car. They climbed in, and started towards Dave's house.

"Cousin, may I borrow your car while get the last components we need?"

"Sure, dude, just please be careful." Sergei nodded his thanks, and went back to reading a small novel he had. Mindy turned to look at him.

"What are you reading?" Sergei lifted the book so she could see the cover, which showed a muscular, black-headed man wearing a loincloth holding a sword. The title read "Conan the Barbarian".

"I thought that was just an Arnold movie." Dave took this as a cue to let his nerdiness out.

"It was actually a series of short stories written by this dude from Texas in the forties. Then after the dude killed himself a bunch of other authors started writing the novels, then they made the Arnold movie, and then that movie last year with that Jason Momoa dude."

"Dude, you are a nerd." Dave put on a fake sad face, the yelped in surprise as Mindy punched him in the arm. He was luckily spared anymore of a beating as they pulled into his driveway. Mindy and Dave got out of the car as Sergei slid into the driver's seat, and went to procure what he needed. They went up to Dave's room, and Dave started stripping.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Mindy wasn't really uncomfortable with him getting undressed, it was just unexpected.

"Keep your pants on babe, I'm just changing." He gave her a cheeky grin, which she promptly wiped of his face by kicking him in the shin. He started to hop around on one foot hold his shin, until he tripped on his pants and fell over. Mindy fell on the bed laughing as a red faced Dave stood up and went to put on his cargo shorts.

Mindy looked over at his Xbox with a bit of longing, and just decided to see what games he had. Most of them were first person shooters, or RPGs. One in particular caught her eye. It showed a young woman on the front wearing a short skirt, a white shirt, a red cape, and she was holding a wicked looking sword thing. Dave walked into the room and found her looking at it.

"I'm glad you found that, I've been meaning to bring something up regarding that, and I almost waited too long."

"What is this game anyway?" Dave looked at her like she was crazy.

"It's Final Fantasy XIII, you've never heard of it?"

"No."

"Shit, I was gonna ask you a favor regarding it."

"Well, spit it out, retard."

"Well, there is a sci-fi/fantasy convention tomorrow, and I was hoping you would come with me."

"Sure, but what does it have to do with that video game?"

"Well, uh, I was hoping, uh, we could go in costume."

"You mean as are 'other selves'?"

"No! I mean as characters from the game."

"I guess, but we'll need costumes." Dave gave a funny giggle, and ran to his closet. He pulled out two costumes on hangers. Mindy did a face palm, she should have realized this.

"What is my character's name?"

"You are Lightning, and I'm Snow."

"You're going as a girl too?"

"No, Snow is dude, and a badass."

"That sounds like a girl's name."

"Shut up." Mindy gave Dave a look of exaggerated hurt, and again kicked his shin.

"Do I at least get a weapon?"

"Yeah, damn that hurt, you get a gun-blade." He reached back into his closet, and pulled out a black case with something metal in it. Mindy took it, and pulled out a folded hunk of metal.

"What the hell is this?" Dave took it back from her.

"Watch this." He hit a small button, and the piece of metal folded out into a three foot sword. "You have no idea how hard it was to find one that worked."

"Do we need to try these on?" Dave nodded, and turned around as he started to pull his clothes off, and pull the costume on. At last he pulled on the bandana, and turned to see Mindy standing there already done.

"You look amazing, but I forgot to tell you we both have to dye our hair."

"Why?"

"Lightning has pink hair, and Snow had blonde."

"Why not wear a wig."

"We could, but I want it to look real."

"Okay, wanna go ahead and do it now?" Dave nodded, so they took off their costumes and hung them back up. Dave got out a couple bottles of hair dye he had got for this occasion, and the trudged to the bathroom. Dave went first, and after a little bit came up blonde.

"Wow, you look hot as a blonde."

"Really, that's good to know."

"Hurry up and do mine now, retard." Dave nodded, and went to work on Mindy, who came back up with pink hair.

"You should keep your hair like that forever, it looks awesome." Mindy gave him a smirk and walked back into his room. Dave shook his head, and walked down to the kitchen. He grabbed a Red Bull from the refrigerator, and walked into the living room. He picked the remote, and started flipping through channels until he found "Family Guy". He sat there watching Peter get up to something stupid, and didn't hear Sergei come in. Sergei looked over on the couch and saw a blonde guy sitting there.

"Who the hell are you?" Dave just looked over at him.

"Hey, did you get the stuff?"

"Cousin, why are you blonde, you look like a skinny Dolph Lundgren."

"Haha, that's kinda funny, don't let Mindy hear it though, or I'll never hear the end of it."

"Don't let me hear what, Dolph?" Mindy walked into the room, and almost died laughing at the look on Dave's face.

"Fuck me."

"Maybe later." Dave did a spit take as she said this. He looked at her, and got a cheeky grin in return.

"Excuse me guys, I got the stuff we needed." Dave and Mindy looked at Sergei with embarrassed expressions on their faces.

"Do you need our help installing it?"

"No, I will work faster by myself."

"Cool, I'm going to Atomic Comics; you wanna come with me, Mindy?"

"Sure, let me put on something else." Dave just nodded as Mindy ran back upstairs. A few minutes later she came down dressed in pink skinny jeans, purple Aidos, and a KISS t shirt.

"Where do you hide all those clothes?"

"None of your business; let's go asshole." Dave chuckled and followed her out of the door.

They decided to walk to the store, and as they walked Mindy thought about her upcoming birthday. Nine more days, and she would finally make Dave know what it was like to be with someone you actually loved.

Dave was also thinking about her upcoming birthday. He knew _he_ was the main gift as it were, and he had already gotten her some other badass stuff. But he wanted to get her more. He knew without a doubt that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

They walked into the store, and saw Todd and Marty sitting in the booth. It was like they frigging lived here. Todd and Marty looked up and saw Dave and Mindy.

"Dude, why do you have blonde hair, you look like Ellen DeGeneres." Mindy started laughing at that.

"Dude, Sergei said he looked like a skinny Dolph Lundgren." Todd and Marty laughed at that.

"Yeah, he does, but who the hell is Sergei?"

"That's Dave's Russian cousin, I forgot you guys haven't met him yet." Marty was about to answer when two men in ski came in with guns.

"Everybody fuckin' freeze, this is a robbery!" Dave and Mindy looked at each other. This was gonna be tricky. Who the hell robs a comic store anyway? Just as they were about to get up, and loud shot rang out, and the window shattered. One of the men screamed as his leg was hit, and they both dived behind the counter.

Dave and Mindy looked at each other again. What the fuck was this?

_Author's Note: So, cliffhanger! Can you guess who the sniper is? What is Dave planning to do about Mindy being the one he wants to spend his life with? Find out this and more next time. I OWN NOTHING._


	9. Aquilonia Suite

_Author's Note: I'm back again. The reason this is taking so long is my computer died and went to hell for being bad. I have to type this at school. Without further ado we shall see who the mystery shooter is, and if you already guessed, good for you. Theme song for this is_ Aquilonia Suite by Domine.

Dave and Mindy looked cautiously out the window and could see no sign of the shooter. Dave gave Mindy a what-the-fuck look, and she just shrugged. The heard a loud thump outside, and turned to see what it was. The apparent shooter was wearing a black trench coat, black combat pants, black combat boots, a black mask that covered his face from the mouth up, and a white wife beater that had what looked like a raven on it.

"Shit, it's one of them fuckin' heroes!" The wounded, would-be robber yelled to his companion.

"Fuck, it's not one of _them_, is it?" Dave and Mindy shared a private smile. Who else could he be talking about?

"No, it's some retard in a trench coat." The other looked like he had shit himself in relief.

"Okay, let's fuckin' get him!" Both of them rose from behind the counter, and fired their weapons at the figure outside indiscriminately. Soon both weapons clicked empty, and as the men struggle to reload they were met with a hail of bullets from the masked hero. Both of them fell to the ground, shot in places that would hurt like bitch, but not kill them. The hero walked into the store, and was met by a chorus of cheers.

"Who are you?" A young man asked the large masked man. The masked man smiled.

"I am the Raven Guard." Dave and Mindy notice the American accent sounded slightly forced, and had a western twang to it.

"I wonder why Kick Ass and Hit Girl weren't here." The Raven Guard looked at Dave and Mindy with a slightly knowing look.

"I'm sure they were occupied elsewhere, now I must take my leave of you all." The Rave Guard turned, and walked out of the store and disappeared down an alley. A few minutes later the police showed up, and Marcus was with them. He walked over to the corner where Dave and Mindy were seated, and gave them a look.

'We didn't do it." They both said in unison.

"Who did?" Dave grinned a little.

"It was this badass dude, he was kinda dressed like the Punisher, except he had a mask, he said his name was the Raven Guard." Marcus sighed at Dave's expression.

"You guys can go home now, if you want, this is gonna take all night."

"Okay, see you later." Dave and Mindy waved goodbye, and exited the store. They began a conversation on the way home about the new hero.

"Dude, I think he knows who we are, did you see the look he gave us when he said Kick Ass and Hit Girl were somewhere else?"

"Yeah, that was weird. But how could he know who we are?"

"I don't know. But did you hear how weird his accent was?"

"Yeah, it sound fake, or like something you would learn from a movie, like if I picked up an Austrian accent from the Terminator or something."

"HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!" Dave burst out laughing at Mindy's impromptu performance.

"That was classic!" Mindy didn't get it.

"What was classic, asshole? Don't fuck with me."

"That line fit's you perfectly, because you're like a Terminator, except hot."

"I should hope you think your _girlfriend_ is better looking than Arnold." Dave put on a thoughtful expression at her comment.

"You're better looking than he is now, but when he played Conan, or the Terminator, he was handsome." Mindy looked at him like he was a rabid donkey.

"I'm kidding, Jesus Murphy, you looked at me like I was a rabid donkey."

"Dude, you read my mind, I was looking at you like that."

"Haha, one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind. A dude who read his girlfriend's mind instead of the other way around." Mindy glared at him, so he shut up, and tried to run away. He made it about three steps before he was tackled to the ground by a small, angry girl.

"Help, rape!" Mindy kissed him to shut him up, and then got off of him. Dave stood up, wiped himself off, and then took off running again. Mindy was caught unawares so he was able to make it about seven steps this time before he was brought down again. So it continued until they finally reached Dave's house.

"Aren't you tired?" Mindy gave Dave a look of smug superiority.

"Not at all, are you, you little bitch."

"Hey!"

"What?" Dave just shook his head and walked upstairs. Sergei was at the computer, putting the finishing touches on the computer.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?"

"There was an attempted robbery at the store."

"Attempted?"

"Yeah, some dude calling himself the Raven Guard stopped it. It was pretty badass." Both heard a can top pop open and turned to see Mindy ascending the stairs with a Red Bull.

"Oh, shit."

"What, cousin?"

"Keep very still; her vision is based on movement." They watched as Mindy drained the volatile energy drink, and they could almost see her pupils dilate. Dave slowly motioned for Sergei to go out the window. As Sergei climbed out Dave made to follow him, but kicked an empty Mountain Dew can. Mindy came charging through the door and took a flying leap onto Dave. She started kissing him very passionately, and Dave almost gave in, almost.

"Sergei, help, help, ahhh!" The last sound came out mangled as Mindy got a very sensitive place on his neck. Sergei rushed into the room from downstairs and burst out laughing at the look on Dave's face. It was somewhere between ultimate pleasure, and a look of torture. He started towards the bed, but Mindy turned to him, and gave him a feral growl.

"Shit, cousin, what was in that stuff?" Dave couldn't answer, because at that moment he was tongue tied, quite literally. Luckily he was saved the shame and embarrassment of being "raped" in front of his cousin by a knock on the door. That mundane sound seemed to snap Mindy out of it.

"Holy shit; that was a close one." Dave looked at her.

"No shit; that was the second time. Damn, thank God I don't have girl-hormones." Mindy gave him a reproachful look, and slugged him in the arm. He gave a little whine, and rubbed his arm.

"Excuse me, while I hate to break up what is better than daytime American television, shouldn't somebody answer the door?" Mindy and Dave both grew red-faced and walked downstairs, Sergei following them, shaking with laughter. Dave opened the door to reveal Todd and Marty. He welcomed in, and shut the door.

"Todd, Marty, this is my cousin, Sergei."

"Cool, I'm Todd, and that's Marty."

"Okay, I apologize in advance here if I am out of line, but are you guys gay?" Todd and Marty stood frozen, Dave had a look of horror on his face, and Mindy was rolling on the floor, holding her sides.

"That was, haha, the greatest thing I've ever seen!"

"What is problem? It is a legitimate question, and a joke." Todd and Marty started laughing too, and Dave looked relived.

"I guess with us hanging around together all the time, we do kinda give that impression." Mindy was still laughing.

"You guys should have seen your faces. That was fucking awesome!" Marty looked over at Dave.

"Did you let her in the Red Bull again?" Dave got a sheepish look.

"Not on purpose." Sergei spoke up again.

"He was almost raped by her."

"Again, dude? Really?"

"You mean this has happened before? You must tell me about this." Dave groaned.

"Come guys, it was an accident both times, she didn't mean it."

"Hello, right here guys."

"Oh, fuck me."

"You're the one that wants to wait." Todd, Marty, and Sergei all started laughing while Dave face-palmed, and Mindy gave her trademark smirk. Dave looked at the trio.

"You guys are assholes." That just made them laugh harder until Dave kicked Marty in the nuts.

All the other gasped, until Mindy kicked Dave in the nuts, and Marty recovered and kicked Todd in the nuts.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"You let me get kicked, so I kicked you." Sergei looked over to Mindy.

"Are American boys always this stupid?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Sergei laughed and walked to the living room, and turned on the PS3 he had recently bought. He put in Mortal Kombat, and proceeded to use Scorpion to beat the crap out of Kratos.

"Dude, do you not like Kratos?"

"I have played all the God of War games, and I must say, while he is a badass, he sucks as a character. His family died, so he is sad, yes I understand, but he acts like that makes him special."

"That is true. But, I don't play many video games. I only played those because they were bloody." Todd, Marty, and Dave had finally recovered enough to make it into the living room, and another scuffle broke out over who would get the other controller. Mindy sighed, and thought, Dave, thank God your worth it.

_Author's Note: So, the end of another chapter. If you can guess who Raven Guard is, and tell me where I got the name, I won't send Scorpion to your house. Next chapter we will see Dave and Mindy go to the sci-fi/fantasy convention. As usual, I own nothing._


	10. I Get Off

_Author's Note: I'm back! Sorry it took so long, but my home computer is still dead, probably getting it back today, so woot. As I said last chapter, they are going to a convention. I don't know which one, the only convention I know is Comic-Con, and that's in San Diego I think. So without further ado, here is the next installment. Theme song is _I Get Off by Halestorm.

Dave awoke the morning of the convention with a sore crotch, and promised never to kick another friend in the nuts again. He slowly stood up, and stretched, and walked to the bathroom to shower. He turned on the water, and his CD player, and stepped into the shower as the tones of "Five Finger Death Punch" started to play. After the first song finished he stepped out of the shower, and made sure none of the blonde hair dye had came out. He was excited about the convention, and even more excited he got to spend it with Mindy.

He walked back towards his room, and noticed the door was mostly closed, except for about a hand span. He peered through the opening, and saw Mindy changing into her bathrobe. He knew he should have turned away, but he stared as she striped away every stitch of clothing she had on. She walked across his room a few times, and then acted as if she was talking to somebody. He only heard a few words, but he heard "nice" a few times, and some words he wouldn't care repeating. It was only when Mindy put on her robe and started towards the door he noticed he obvious arousal through the towel he had wrapped around him. He made as though he had just left the bathroom, and pretended not to notice when Mindy saw the bulge and smirked.

Dave quickly dressed in his costume, and waited downstairs. Todd and Marty were gonna go with them. He heard a knock on the door, and opened the door for a Stormtrooper, and Green Lantern.

"Sup, Dave?"

"Dude, a Stormtrooper, and Green Lantern, walking down the street? People must have thought you were new heroes."

"Almost, dude. One lady asked us to help find her cat, Mr. Bitey." Dave inwardly groaned, and then realized he should probably thank the stupid cat. If the cat hadn't made him fall off a billboard, and get in some dude's way, he wouldn't have got on the internet, or the news.

"Where's Mindy at dude, it starts soon."

"I'm right here, cunt-nugget." All three turned to the stairs as Mindy came down in costume. She looked exactly like a miniature version of Lightning, and Dave knew she was just as dangerous.

"You look awesome." She grinned at him, then down at his crotch, and winked. Dave flushed red, and turned to the side to hide it from Todd and Marty.

"Are we going, or not." Marty slapped Todd in the back of the head.

"Shut up, he's our ride. I'm not walking there."

"Okay, let's go."

They all quickly walked outside to Dave's car, and clambered in. As they drove to their destination Mindy kept screwing with the CD player, until finally she gave up. Dave calmly reached over, and after a minute, had the CD going.

"How the fuck did you do that?"

"You gotta baby it a bit, you gotta love it. Violence and technology; not good bedfellows."

"Shut up."

"Hey guys." As Todd spoke up, both whipped their heads around.

"What?"

"What CD is this?"

"Oh, it's Disturbed."

"Awesome." They continued the rest of the ride in awkward silence, and they all breathed a sigh of relief as the convention building came into view. Dave managed to find a parking spot not too far, and they all started up the street. Many people gave them funny looks, two anime looking people, a slightly stoned looking Green Lantern, and a slightly overweight Stormtrooper. They made it into the building, and Todd sort of moved off towards some DC people, Marty moved off to the Star Wars people, while Dave and Mindy just meandered around, looking at stuff.

"I didn't know these places could be this badass."

"Yeah, you would be amazed at how many hot chicks in skimpy costumes show up." He noticed the look he was getting from Mindy.

"I'm sure you know." Dave felt rather guilty, so he swept Mindy up from behind, and carried her around, bridal style.

"You know no one is hotter than you." He then kissed her.

"I hope that's not your sister, dude." Dave turned toward the speaker, a grimy sort of man in Batman costume.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, she happens to be my girlfriend." The grimy Batman smiled lecherously.

"So, you like the loli." Dave's face twisted into a snarl. He gently put Mindy down. He slowly stalked towards the grimy Batman.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Dave ignored his pleas, and planted a fist in the man's face. Dave felt the cartilage of the man's nose crack under his fist, and smiled in an evil way at the man's cries of pain.

"I could've taken him, you know."

"I know, but how would I explain that my fourteen year old girlfriend could kick Jackie Chan's ass?"

"True. By the way, what did that creep mean when he said loli?"

"I'm not sure I can explain it. You better look it up on the internet. Loli is short for lolicon, so you'll know you've found the right thing." Mindy noticed the look on his face, and deduced that it could only be some distasteful type of porn.

"Okay, but if it's porn, I'll kill you." She smirked as Dave gulped. She playfully slapped him on the arm. Todd and Marty found them a few minutes later.

"Hey dude, I heard someone say that an anime looking guy punched Batman in the face."

"Yeah, me too."

"Yeah, I did."

"Why, dude."

"The asshole made some disparaging remarks about my love life."

"Like what?"

"He claimed I liked lolicon because of my girlfriend."

"But I thought you liked Hit Girl lolicon."

"That's right Dave, you told us all other loli was sick shit, but you liked the Hit Girl kind." Dave looked around nervously.

"No, I didn't, at all."

"Yes you did, you said you had a collection on your computer."

"No, I don't." Dave didn't like them gleam in Mindy's eye, not at all.

"Let's go see then, shall we?" Mindy noticed how worried Dave looked as they drove home. They got to the house, and they all trudged up to Dave's computer. Marty sat down, and in a few minutes had found a folder labeled "HitGirlPics". Marty clicked on it, and Mindy jumped in shock at what came up on screen. People made porn of her, or more accurately of Hit Girl. She turned to Dave.

"Dude, you are obsessed with her, aren't you?" Dave noticed the little smirk, and sighed in relief.

"I can't help it, she just seems so awesome."

"Yeah she does. While we're here, what exactly is lolicon anyway?" Dave, Todd, and Marty all looked at each other. As teenagers they had looked at every type of naked lady imaginable, and they weren't proud of it.

"Marty, go to Google, and look it up for her." Marty gulped, and slowly did what he was told. As the pictures uploaded Marty and Todd slowly made their way out. Mindy looked at the pictures, and freaking exploded.

"What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck looks up shit like this? I ought to track them down, and make them into a fucking eunuch!" Marty and Todd had escaped, while Dave weathered the storm. He almost shit his pants when Mindy turned her gaze on him.

"You don't look up this shit, do you?"

"Only the stuff with you in it."

"I know, we're gonna have a long talk about that."

"Help."

_Author's Note: So, the end of the 10__th__ chapter. Dave punched a pervert in the face, and then turned out to be a pervert himself. BTW, I don't condone lolicon; I just thought it would be a useful plot device. If you don't know what it is keep it that way. But if you must know what it is make sure you are at home, and at least 18. Prepare to be sick, perverts. As always, review, and I own nothing. _


	11. It's Been Awhile

_Author's Into: Sorry about the long ass wait, I was struck with a severe case of writer's block, and I was busy with a new job. By the way, the theme song couldn't be more true. I accidentaly screwed up and had to re-upload the whole thing, so I'm sorry about that. It's the day after the convention, and this will have Kick Ass and Hit Girl, and Raven Guard in it. Theme song for this is _It's Been Awhile by Staind.

Dave awoke in his bed feeling refreshed. Yesterday had been a long day, what with the convention and Mindy trying to beat the shit out of him for looking up Hit Girl porn. While she later told him she was flattered in a fucked up way, he had to stop her from trying to find out who those people were and killing them. Sergei had told them that after removing a few bugs that the tracking system was 100% operational. He staggered out of bed and over to his closet. He heard his cellphone ringing, playing "Bad Company" by Five Finger Death Punch. He grinned, that was Mindy, obviously.

"Hello?"

"You know it's me dickhead. I'm still out of school on medical. You want to go do something?"

"Sure, is it cool if I ask Sergei if he wants to go?"

"Of course, he's like an older brother."

"Cool, see in a few minutes." Dave dressed in a pair of black cargo shorts, with a _Flogging Molly_ t-shirt. He quickly put on his shoes, and ran downstairs. Sergei was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

"Sergei, Mindy and I are going to them mall, do you want to go?" Sergei looked up.

"Why not? I'm bored out of my skull." Dave nodded, and ran out to start the car. Dave waited paitently, and soon Sergei walked out. He had taken to wearing band shirts like Dave, only his were European bands. Right now he had on a _Finntroll_ t-shirt. Dave nodded at him.

"Like the shirt dude." Sergei just chuckled a little, and buckled his seatbelt. Dave drove rather dangerously towards Mindy's apartment complex, which Sergei commented on.

"Dave, slow the fuck down, I'm not ready to die!" Dave laughed a little crazily. He still slowed down a little, for which Sergei gave thanks. They pulled in front of the building, where Mindy was sitting on a bench with Marcus. Mindy walked over to car, gave Dave a quick peck on the cheek, and climbed in. Marcus walked over, and Dave realized he hadn't introduced him to Sergei.

"Marcus, this is my cousin Sergei, from Russia." Marcus nodded, and stuck his hand in through the window to shake Sergei's hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Mindy's adoptive father, Marcus. I was her father's partner on the force." Sergei nodded sadly.

"I knew Damon. He was one of the few I considered a friend. A friend of his is a friend of mine."

"Thank you Sergei, he was a good friend." Mindy choose that moment to speak up.

"Is the emo-fest over? We got shit to do." Marcus rolled his eyes, and said goodbye as he walked to his car. Dave started the car and drove off towards the mall. Mindy open the glove box and came out with a CD labled "Alestorm".

"Dude, what's this?"

"It's this awesome pirate metal band from Scotland."

"Did you say pirate metal?"

"Just listen to it." Dave put the CD in and turned it to 'Keelhauled'. Mindy listened for a minute, and started to get into it.

"Do you like it?" Dave grinned as Mindy started to bounce around a little to the jaunty tune.

"Dude, the fucking rules, it's happy and violent." Sergei chuckled from the backseat.

"Just what every girl wants, _da_?" Dave and Mindy joined in the laughter as Dave pulled into the mall. Dave managed to find a parking place not to far from the entance, and they exited the car. Sergei told them he was going to bookstore, while Dave and Mindy went to _fye_. Dave slowly browsed the CDs, looking at some of the European bands Sergei had told him about, like _HammerFall_, and _Tyr_. Mindy was checking out the t-shirts. Dave finally settled on a _Korpiklaani_ CD, and wandered over to Mindy.

"Do you think we should go out tonight?"

"Yeah, we need to, what with _him_ being back and all." The amount of venom and menace she put into that single word scared Dave a little. If Chris had been there he probably would have shit his pants. Mindy decided she wanted to go to Hot Topic, and waited paitently while Dave paid for his CD. They walked slowly towards Hot Topic, and met Sergei along the way. Athough Sergei was a man of action, he was also a voracious reader, especially of sci-fi and fantasy. He showed them the Warhammer 40k book he had bought, and decided to go to Hot Topic with them. They walked into the store, with Mindy going into the girls section, and Dave and Sergei just kinda milling about.

Mindy came over with a furry, Russian-looking hat, which both Sergei and Dave liked. She purchased that, and wore it as they left the store. As they walked out towards the car they noticed a guy trying to jimmy the lock on a Camaro. Mindy looked up at Dave, who nodded. Mindy walked towards the guy.

"What are you doing to my Daddy's car?" The guy looked up at the innocent little voice. Walking towards him was a very cute little girl in a furry hat. He grinned lavicously. Dave noticed the grin, and was about to come out from behind the car Sergei and himself was behind, but Sergei pulled him back down.

"I think you overestimate that creep, cousin." Dave nodded, and peeped back up to watch the scene unfold.

"I'm just checking the locks on all the cars." His lecherous grin widened as it looked like girl believed him. God, she was cute!

"Really? 'Cuz I believe that's complete bullshit you fuckin' creep asshole." The man's grin turned into a frown as he heard the little girl's voice go from innocent to murderous in a second. The man gasped as he felt the feeling leave his right arm, and looked down to see his elbow broken, bone sticking out. He fell to his knees in pain, and watched in facination as the girl's foot left the ground to meet his chin. He felt his jaw break, and blacked out from the pain. Mindy turned to where Sergei and Dave was, and gave a little bow. Dave and Sergei came out, and gave her a little round of applause.

"Nice work, that was fucking rad." Mindy smirked, and blushed a little at his praise. She frowned at her reaction. She was his fuckin' girlfriend already, why was she acting like a schoolgirl with a crush? She shook her head, and put her hand in Dave's. They slowly walked back to his car, and they didn't notice Sergei give the downed guy a few kicks for good measure. They entered the car, and Dave started back towards his house. When they were stopped Dave popped his new CD in, and began to listen to it on the way home. Mindy groaned when she heard the song "Vodka" start. Dave and Sergei grinned, and had soon picked up the lyrics and began bellowing along.

"Thank God!" Mindy practically leapt out of the car as they pulled into Dave's driveway. Dave and Sergei chuckled and exited the car in more subdued fashion. Dave entered the house and began up the stairs as Sergei walked to the living room and crashed on the couch to veg' out with his new book. Mindy was in the bathroom, so Dave went to his room and got on the computer. It kept crashing when they tried the tracker, and Sergei had said they needed more power. It worked fine as long you didn't try to turn it on.

Dave began surfing Google for other possible outings of the Raven Guard. Mostly what he got was links to Warhammer 40k sites. Eventually giving up he walked to his TV and turned on his Xbox. He popped in BioShock 2 and began playing. He had been playing for a few minutes, and had just rescued a Little Sister when Mindy spoke up from behind him.

"Why do you always save those freaky things?" Dave damn near jumped from his seat.

"Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me!"

"You didn't answer my question tardo."

"They just seem so innocent. Why hurt them?"

"They're just video game characters! Besides, its almost dark, and Sergei's asleep on the couch. We should go now."

"Right." Silence followed as Dave grabbed his costume and headed to the bathroom. A few minutes later Kick Ass walked out. He checked the pistol holstered to his thigh, and the batons on his back. Hit Girl walked out of his bedroom, checking both her pistols, and the brass knuckles she had attached to her gloves. They locked eyes and nodded. They both quietly walked downstairs, and after checking that Sergei was still asleep, made their way out of the back door. They kept walking until they were in a part of the city that didn't look to friendly. Two people in costumes kinda stuck out, but most people steered clear. Most of them.

"You look cute girlie." The speaker was a ratty, shifty looking man. He looked as if he was tweaked out on something.

"Fuck you, asshole."

"Okay." The tweaker moved towards Hit Girl, but before he could react he found himself on the ground, clutching his genitals, or what was left of them. Hit Girl smirked nastily and glared at anybody who looked in their direction. As they walked forwards Kick Ass gave a hateful growl at the man on the ground, and gave him a swift kick in the face. He heard the sound of teeth snapping like chalk, and grinned.

"No pity. No remorse. No fear. Remember that, and us dick-brain." Hit Girl looked at him funny.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing. Just don't want assholes like that to forget."

"I don't think he will. He'll be eating through a straw for a while." Kick Ass grinned a little sheepishly, and Hit Girl grinned back. They were interupted by shouts, and sounds of a struggle. They ran to where the sounds were emerging from. A run-down apartment complex. They entered the lobby to find the fray. A large man in a black trench coat, and mask was currently locked in combat with at least three thugs. It was hard to tell due to the tangle of limbs. Kick Ass drew his batons, and Hit Girl cracked her knuckles. They looked at each other, and nodded, then charged into the rumble. Kick Ass brought a baton down on a man's forearm, and was pleased when he heard a light cracking sound. The man screamed and launched himself at Kick Ass.

Hit Girl had cornered one of the men, and was viciously beating him to a pulp. The black coated man had the other pinned to the wall, and had actually disembowled him with a large combat knife. While the other two thugs were distracted by the sight of their friend's guts slooping to the floor, Kick Ass and Hit Girl finished them off. The black coated man turned around and Kick Ass and Hit Girl saw the logo on his chest.

"Raven Guard? What are you doing here?"

"I thank you both for your assisstance, and to answer your question, these men were involved in a heroin distribution operation. An operation funded by one Chris D'Amico." Hit Girl growled at the name, and Kick Ass glared at the dead men. If looks could bring people back to life, and then kill them again, his would have done so a few times over.

"So, where do we go from here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want to help us, or what?" Hit Girl looked up sharply at Kick Ass. The look wasn't lost on Raven Guard.

"No, thank you for the offer though. I have important matters to attend to." Raven Guard turned around and lightly ran to the rear exit of the building. Kick Ass and Hit Girl exited the front of the building, and began the long patrol route home.

"What was that about?"

"What?"

"That look you gave me."

"Something doesn't sit right about him."

"Something doesn't sit right about us. We're teenagers who dress up and kick the shit out of people."

"Whatever, I just saying how I feel."

"Okay, I'll drop it. I trust you, and I love you." Kick Ass leaned in and gave Hit Girl a kiss. A the kiss was drawn out, they didn't notice the grimy reporter snapping pictures like there was no tomorrow.

_Charlie's Korner: Okay, there ya go. I don't even know if any body is even reading this shit anymore. If you are, I offer my sincerest apologies for taking so damn long, and my thanks for sticking with it. Please review, love it, hate it, I don't care which, just tell me why. Also, don't just get on here to flame, otherwise I will hunt you down like the dog you are. Give me REASONS, and tell me how I can inprove. Constructive critisism. By the way, I own nothing. Charlie out._


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